


A New Home

by Emis033



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Cute, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 18:26:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 37,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8024395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emis033/pseuds/Emis033
Summary: So this is a Kylo Ren story about the reader having an arranged marriage with Kylo Ren.





	1. Chapter 1

~~~~This is a preview of the first chapter. Please leave Kudos or comments if you would like me to continue~~~~~~~

 

I stepped my foot on to Star Killer Base. This was the first time but certainly not the last. The decision had been made. I would be marrying Kylo Ren. My family was wealthy and was allies with the First Order. Snoke had approached my father asking if he would let me marry Kylo Ren. Of course my father said yes. I was told I was chosen because I was quiet and peaceful. I knew this was happening to try to teach Kylo Ren to control his anger. I guess meditation just wasn’t enough. My heels clicked as we walked along the corridors. My mother, father, and I were getting a grand tour by General Hux. This man was definitely a kiss ass. He was sucking up to my father in every way that he could. I did not pay attention to a word that he said. I just aimlessly looked around the rooms and halls. We suddenly came to a stop.

“This will be your quarters for tonight. After tomorrow’s ceremony you will be living with Commander Ren.” I put on a fake smile and nodded. The door opened and I stepped inside. It was a simple bed room.

“You may stay here and get comfortable. I will send someone to get you for dinner.”

“Thank you.” I said to him before he left to guide my parents to where they would be staying for the night. I sat on the bed and kicked off my shoes. I walked around the room studying everything about it. I opened a door to reveal a small bathroom and then another that was a closet. Inside was a pair of my pajamas and the gown I would be wearing tomorrow. They gown I wore at the moment was sleek and slender. It was a beautiful light purple color and draped over my body with ease. The one in my closet was black and covered in sparkles that made it look like you were looking at a window at outerspace. I loved it and always planned on it being my wedding dress. I reached my hand out and felt it. I wanted to find my one true love all on my own. Instead I would be living in this miserable place the rest of my life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter then I wanted it to be but I promise I will put Chapter 2 up in the next week and it will be much longer.

I stepped my foot on to Star Killer Base. This was the first time but certainly not the last. The decision had been made. I would be marrying Kylo Ren. My family was wealthy and was allies with the First Order. Snoke had approached my father asking if he would let me marry Kylo Ren. Of course my father said yes. I was told I was chosen because I was quiet and peaceful. I knew this was happening to try to teach Kylo Ren to control his anger. I guess meditation just wasn’t enough. My heels clicked as we walked along the corridors. My mother, father, and I were getting a grand tour by General Hux. This man was definitely a kiss ass. He was sucking up to my father in every way that he could. I did not pay attention to a word that he said. I just aimlessly looked around the rooms and halls. We suddenly came to a stop.

“This will be your quarters for tonight. After tomorrow’s ceremony you will be living with Commander Ren.” I put on a fake smile and nodded. The door opened and I stepped inside. It was a simple bed room. 

“You may stay here and get comfortable. I will send someone to get you for dinner.”

“Thank you.” I said to him before he left to guide my parents to where they would be staying for the night. I sat on the bed and kicked off my shoes. I walked around the room studying everything about it. I opened a door to reveal a small bathroom and then another that was a closet. Inside was a pair of my pajamas and the gown I would be wearing tomorrow. They gown I wore at the moment was sleek and slender. It was a beautiful light purple color and draped over my body with ease. The one in my closet was black and covered in sparkles that made it look like you were looking at a window at outerspace. I loved it and always planned on it being my wedding dress. I reached my hand out and felt it. I wanted to find my one true love all on my own. Instead I would be living in this miserable place the rest of my life. 

I jumped when I heard a knock at the door. I ran back toward the bed where my shoes were scattered on the floor. I sat down to put the shoes on and the door opened. I heard the loud clicking of boots on the tile floor. I glanced over to where the sound came from. I saw black boots and the end of black robes. I quickly moved my eyes back to my feet. I buckled the small straps on my shoes and stood up. I stood straight and brushed off the front of my dress. My eyes made contact with the shiny silver of his helmet. I felt him staring right back at me. 

“(y/n)?” He asked in that cold robotic voice.

“Yes.” I tried to hide my anxiety and nervousness.

“I am here to bring you to dinner.” He offered me his arm and I took it. At least he was being a gentleman. We slowly made our way out of the room. We walked the bland corridors. The lights were more dim than earlier. We stopped at a pair of two large doors. He pulled his arms from mine. I watched as he moved both of his hands to the sides of the mask. He pulled it off and I got to see all of his beautiful black hair fall onto his face. He took one hand and ran it through his hair to push it all back. It was a glorious mess. I had to admit he was younger then I had expected. He held his mask in one arm and put his other arm out for me to hold on to. I did as was expected. The door opened to reveal a large table. My parents, Hux, and some other generals were already seated. Kylo Ren placed his helmet on a sort of pedestal in the corner of the room. He then led me to my seat,pulling it out for me so I could sit. He took the seat next to me.

Conversation immediately started between the men. I sat quietly once again not paying close attention to the words that surrounded me. I glanced at him from time to time. He was very handsome which was another characteristic I did not expect. He listened intently to my father who went on and on. He answered questioned with either yes or no. The talking went on through all of the courses. The conversation shifted to the ceremony tomorrow.

“It will be short.” My father explained

“Yes Commander Ren I have made sure it is as short as possible. I just couldn’t see my daughter get married without some sort of celebration.” My mother was the only one who wanted the ceremony. The rest of us could go without but she insisted.

“It is no problem.” Kylo Ren replied. I felt a slight pain in my head. Almost like a stinging sensation. I tried to ignore it and go back to eating dessert. 

Hours passed and I was about ready to fall asleep in my chair until the pain in my head came back.

“I think it is time for us to retreat back to our quarters. We all do have to be up early.” Everyone agreed and we all rose from the table. Kylo took my arm again. Before walking out of the room he grabbed his mask and put it back on. We walked to my door. I turned to face him.

“Thank you for accompanying me tonight.” His voice was cold when the mask altered it.

“It was my pleasure.” I lied through my teeth. He was thanking me for something that I was forced to do?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be up by Sunday!

I woke quit early. I knew my mother would be coming through the door as soon as she woke up so I quickly went to the bathroom and took a cold shower to help myself become more awake and alert. Once I got out of the shower I put a robe on and lounged around the room. There was a bowl of fruit on the table that I picked at until I heard a knock on my door. The door opened before I could get up and my mother walked into the room. She held a large bag of cosmetics and a hanger with her own dress on it. 

“You ready?” She asked as she ran her fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes and tilted my head down trying to hide the frown on my face.

“I think this will be good for you. Kylo Ren seems very nice. I think it will just take sometime.” I didn’t believe a word she said but I slapped on a smile and let her blow dry my hair. I felt like a child again with the way she was doing my hair and makeup. She stopped once mine was almost done so that she could make herself look beautiful as well. My parents were the only ones attending the ceremony. 

“Time to put on the dress!” My mother was nearly shaking with excitement. The dress slid up my body and my mother pulled up the zipper. I stared at myself in the mirror. This was how I always imagined I would look. My mother was almost in shambles looking at me.

“We should go.” I suggested so that she wouldn’t be a complete mess before we got there. Hux was outside my door waiting for the two of us. He followed him to a room not too far away. The doors opened and there was a beautiful large window with a gorgeous view. I saw Kylo Ren standing in front of it, unmasked but wearing the same outfit from dinner last night. My father stood next to him whispering something in his ear. There was another man there to officiate the wedding, he tapped my father’s shoulder to let him know we had arrived. My father smiled at me and took his seat motioning for my mother to sit with him. I slowly made my way to Kylo Ren. Once I was standing across from him he took both of my hands in his. I looked down to see he was still wearing his leather gloves. The material felt smooth and cold on my skin. I looked at his face. He was nervous. He was trying to keep himself composed but he was on the edge of breaking. The officiate went on saying whatever it is they say at a wedding. As I looked into Kylo’s eyes I knew that just like me the man’s words meant nothing. We did not say vows but they did make us kiss. It was short and sweet. His lips felt lovely when they were on mine. Truthfully although it was very boring I did not want the ceremony to end because that meant my parents would leave and I would stay here. When it was all said and done we all had glasses of champagne and cheered to this fake marriage. Very shortly after my parents said their goodbyes. I held back my tears until that sudden pain in my head came back. I let a few tears fall and I just looked out of the window.

“I can show you where you will be staying now.” It was almost like it was a question but I knew it wasn’t. I wiped away the few tears and followed him. This time there was no need to hold onto his arm.

This place was much farther away than where I had previously stayed. The door hissed open. Another boring grey room with minimal furniture. There was a simple living room and kitchen. There was one door which was opened and it was a very large bedroom. The bedroom contained book shelves and a large bed. There was a night stand next to the bed and a comfortable chair placed near the book shelves. Once again there were 2 doors. One was a large closet which already had all of my clothes hanging in it. The other was a luxury bathroom with a clawfoot tub.

“Your mother told me you would enjoy the tub so I got it as wedding gift.” He told me as I ran my hand over the edge of it.

“Thank you.” I said shyly and retreated back to the main bedroom. This is when I realized a small cot in the corner. 

“I will be sleeping there for now. I assumed since we just met it may be a bit uncomfortable for you to sleep next to me.” I was surprised that he had thought about me so much already. 

“If you ever do not want to leave the room you can order them to bring whatever you would like to you. Anything you need just ask for it and they will bring it to you.” I nodded and took a seat on the bed. This mattress was way more comfortable than the one I had slept on last night. 

“I have business to attend to now so I will be talking to you later.”  He marched out of the room. I laid back on the bed.Wow, he had to work on his wedding day. The pain in my head came back once again. This time not as bad but I could still feel it. I decided that being alone and my head hurting was a good excuse to try out the new bath tub. I undressed in the bedroom so I could hang up my gown. I got into the bathroom and started to draw my bath. I looked in the cabinets and found an array of bath oils and bath salts. My mother had clearly told him what to buy because all of my favorite ones were there. I picked a lavender scented bath oil and pour a bit of it in. I let the lovely scent flow through the room. It made me feel more at home. Once the bath was ¾ filled I turned the water off and got in. The water was hot but it was soothing. I closed my eyes just wanting the pain to go away. It lessened but I could still feel it in the back of my head. My thoughts drifted to Kylo. I giggled to myself imagining if he had tried out the tub before I got here. I wondered if he liked taking baths. I wanted to know more about him.

The water was warm now and I felt like I should get out before it got any colder. I drain the tub and dried myself off. I walked into the bedroom with the towel wrapped around me. I went into the large closet. One side had my clothes and the other had Kylo’s. I put on a loose fitting shirt and some sweatpants. I couldn’t stop myself from looking through his clothes. He had multiple pairs of the same black pants and black shirt. He seemed to be a simple man. I sighed realizing that the pain in my head had just disappeared.

“Looking for something?” It was Kylo. He stood at the doorway of the closet. 

“No just curious…” I said nervously. I hadn’t even heard him come in. A small growl erupted from my stomach.

“You haven’t eaten anything?” I nodded no sheepishly. 

“Follow me.” I did as I was told. We ended up in the kitchen. Kylo took his helmet off and placed it on the counter. I sat at the table with a blank stare.

“Are you going to to tell me what you would like to eat?” 

“Oh uhm it doesn’t matter. I will have whatever you are having.” He nodded and called upon some sort of droid who took the order to the order and left the apartment. 

The silence was extremely uncomfortable. I had zero ideas of what to say. Do I ask him how work was? Do I ask him what he did while he was gone? Do I tell him about what I did? Is this what the rest of my life would be like? My heart was beating so fast that I thought it was going to burst through my chest. My eyes fluttered shut and I fell to the floor.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of school work this week but I will do my best to post the next chapter by Friday.

I felt myself wrapped in warm blankets and heard two voices voices in the room. I moved my hands around and could feel that I was on Kylo’s bed or my new bed. 

“She will be fine. She most likely just had a panic attack and mixed with the fact that she hasn’t eaten in a while it could have easily made her faint.” The woman’s voice was soft but seemed a bit annoyed.

“I just want to make sure she is ok. It has nothing to do with…” That was Kylo’s voice but it was definitely quieter than usual.

“No it doesn’t. But you know that can cause people severe pain. Saying that she is your wife maybe you should tell her. Just make sure she eats something.” I heard soft footsteps leave and I opened my eyes. Kylo was standing near the door alone with his eyebrows furrowed and his hand pressing against his forehead. He knew something that I didn’t. Then it hit me.

“You’re the reason why my head hurts.” I blurted out. 

“Yes.” He didn’t look at me. He just paced the room.

“How I don’t understand?” 

“I can use the force to read your mind. I didn’t know…” He trailed off. His face was getting more red as he continued to pace the room faster and faster.

“But why?” That was it. My one little question had pushed him too far. Slam! The door was shut and he was gone. I was a second away from storming out there and asking him what was wrong with him but then I remembered why I was here. I was here because they thought I would help calm him down. I slowly sat up in the bed and noticed the food beside me. Nothing really stood out to me except for the cake. He had got us cake because of the wedding and I knew it. I couldn’t resist but take a few bites from each food because I really was starving. I heard a loud crash and decided that maybe for now the safest place for me was the bedroom. 

I finished my food and thought that he should have settled down by now. I walked out into the living room and there he was lying on the couch. I put my dishes down and a counter and quietly made my way to him. The coffee table was smashed into multiple pieces. I made sure to step around it so I wouldn’t hurt myself on any small pieces. He was lying on his stomach and half of his body was hanging off of the couch. This couch was far too small for a man of his size. I pushed the hair out of his face. He was sleeping. I sighed and his eyes immediately opened. He looked at me probably because my hand was still in his hair. I slowly pulled it away.

“Come and sleep in the bedroom.” It was more of a command then a suggestion. He knew that because he got up and walked behind me to our bedroom. I crawled into the bed and watched him from across the room. He stripped down to only his pants and he got under the covers of his cot. We were making eye contact that I knew wouldn’t end anytime soon.

“I was in your head because I wanted to make sure I wasn’t doing anything to make you feel uncomfortable. You weren’t projecting your thoughts so I had to search for them. I never meant to hurt you.” He then turned the light off and turned his back to me. I wasn’t mad at him. I thought it was kind of sweet. I hadn’t noticed that he cared that much about me.

 

The next morning I woke up to an empty room. There was a note on the table.

‘ I will be busy most of the day. Please remember to eat and if you need anything Captain Phasma will be at your service’ 

It had to be from Kylo, there was no doubt. I got up and shower and got ready for the day. I didn’t change much from my normal routine. I walked out in the living room and let out a gasp. There was a woman standing there. She had short blonde hair and pale skin. She wore a plain grey outfit. 

“I’m sorry to scare you. I am Captain Phasma. Commander Ren has told me to stay here with you.”

“Its ok. He uh told me that you would be here if I needed anything. I was also kind of expecting the armor and what not.” I walked to the kitchen in search of some sort of breakfast. 

“Can I ask you something, Captain?” I said while opening a cabinet.

“Of course.”

“Do you know anything about Kylo Ren. At all?”

“I don’t believe I am allowed to speak of the Commander’s personal life.”

“I’m married to him and I literally know nothing about him.” I begged. I needed to know someone else’s opinion on him.

“His tantrums are horrible but you already know that saying as I walked in here this morning and he was picking up the pieces of a broken coffee table.”

“Yes, he got upset last night and broke it.” I didn’t feel the need to tell her why he had been upset. I did not think that he wanted her to know.

“You may want to be careful. He could hurt you.” 

“Has he hurt others in the past?” 

“Accidently? Just a few troopers. On purpose? I have no idea how many people he has hurt.” That was something I didn’t want to think about. I forgot that killing and hurting people was practically his job. It just surprises me that everyone thinks he is so crazy for having tantrums but if I had to do what he does everyday I would probably act the same way.

“Has he had other woman here?” 

“Not that I know of. I think when he joined the First Order any sort of romance ended. That’s what happens to most of us.” I had honestly just assumed he had various lovers in the past. He was just so uniquely handsome. I sat at the kitchen table and sighed dramatically.

“So what am I supposed to do all day?”

  
  


2 weeks have passed. I spend every other day with Phasma. We are starting to become good friends. We talk about Kylo Ren, clothes, and anything else we can think of. The days when she goes off to work or go on a mission I spend alone or roaming around the base with someone always by my side to make sure I am safe. Kylo and I have not talked very much. Lately he has been training from early in the morning until late at night. He usually comes back very red and covered in sweat. Every night he showers and goes straight to bed. Sometimes I stay up reading or watching a TV show. I have caught him looking at me a few times from his bed in the corner but I never say anything. I usually just look at him until he turns his back to me and even then sometimes I keep looking at him. His body was pretty toned under all of those layers of black clothing. He hasn’t gotten angry with me since our wedding night which seems promising.

But of course tonight was different. I was caught up in a book and barely noticed him walk in. He head straight to the bathroom to take his shower. Totally immersed in my book I payed no attention as he got into bed. I felt him stare at me but this time did not stare back. The lights dimmed to I knew he was now going to sleep. I stayed up for hours reading. It didn’t feel like very long but once I looked at the clock and it read 2am I decided it was time for me to go to sleep. I snuggled down into the bed and was about to turned the lights off when I heard heavy breathing. I looked over at Kylo. His face was red and covered in sweat. His hand was balled into a fist. He must be having some sort of bad dream. I stood up and contemplated what to do. I could just ignore it and go to bed or I could wake him up and settle him down. Before I could decide his eyes shot open. They were wide and looked up at the ceiling.

“Go to sleep. You don’t need to worry about me.” He said without even looking in my direction. I wanted to say something but I knew I would just make it worse. I pulled the covers over my body and couldn’t help but make him an offer.

“You can sleep next to me tonight. The bed is much more comfortable.” I was not expecting him to take the offer. He got up and crawled under the cover of the enormous soft bed. He was on the opposite side as far away from me as he possibly could. His back stayed turned to me like it had every other night.

“Did I wake you?” He asked.

“No.” I responded in almost a whisper. That was the last thing that was said before I heard the even breathing and slight snore from the other side of the bed. I tried to tell myself that I asked him to sleep in the bed to help comfort him from his bad dreams. But truthfully with the things Phasma was telling me I was intrigued by this man. I wanted to be closer to him. I wanted to figure him out. I wished that I could read his mind like he could read mine. I reached my hand out and ran my fingertips lightly down his back. I quickly pulled my hand away when I realized what I was doing. He let out a loud sigh.

“Go to sleep.” He said sternly. I shouldn’t be sad. I overstepped my boundaries. I shut my eyes forcing myself to sleep. I was embarrassed and I needed to forget about this.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I kind of just finished this and I thought that I should just update it now instead of waiting. So here is a little surprise update but the next part I post won't be until this weekend. Also I know these are kind of short to I will really try to make the next one longer.

I hummed as I pressed my forehead into the warm being next to me. I opened my eyes and couldn’t believe it. My forehead was pressed to Kylo Ren’s bare back and my arm was around his waist. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I mean he couldn’t be mad at me too much because his hand rested on top of mine. 

“I’m not mad.” He said plainly. I started freaking out even more knowing that he was awake. I felt no pain in my head. How was he reading my mind.

“You’re projecting before you weren’t. Its that simple.” I thought I almost heard him chuckle.

“You like to cuddle. I don’t know if you know that but you wouldn’t stop trying to put your arms around me in your sleep so eventually I just let you.” My face burned.

“I’m sorry. If I would have known I wouldn’t have offer for you to sleep with in the bed with me.” He didn’t reply he just got up from the bed and went to get ready for ‘work’. I looked at the clock and realized it was far too early for me to be awake so I closed my eyes and fought for sleep. I kept my eyes shut when I heard Kylo reenter the room. I heard his footsteps going in and out of the closest. My heartbeat sped up when I heard him walk to the bed. I felt him standing over me. I tried my best to continuing acting like I was asleep but my head felt like it was spinning when I felt his breath on my face. His nose lightly grazed my cheek. I wasn’t sure why but I was hoping and praying that he would kiss me.

“I know you’re awake.” Is all he said before he left the room. My eyes flung open. I had to tell Phasma. I got up and waited in the living room for her to arrive. My foot was tapping uncontrollably. I heard the hiss of the door and I immediately jumped to my feet. 

“Why are you up so early?” Phasma questioned as she took a seat.

“Something happened.” I starting pacing the room.

“Well are you going to keep running around or are you going to tell me?”

“Last night Kylo had a nightmare or bad dream or something so offered for him to sleep in the bed with me. He joined me which I wasn’t expecting at all and I may have cuddled him and I freaked out and thought he was going to be mad but he wasn’t at all. He uh he almost kissed me this morning.” I said the last part as quietly as possible.

“I find it hard to believe that you snuggled up to Commander Ren. Are you sure this wasn’t all just a dream?” 

“I am positive!” I was out of breath and had to take a seat.

“Well maybe he really likes you?”

“He doesn’t like anybody!” I shouted back at her.

“He likes some people but he just doesn’t show it. I mean he is a human being he does have a heart.” I wasn’t sure that I wanted him to like me. 

“This is nothing to get upset over you are his wife! Plus I kind of would like to know more about this cute and cuddly side of the Commander.” She laughed and I threw a pillow at her. The rest of the day was filled with jokes of Kylo being a total softy and being a big teddy bear.

We both laughed because we knew it wasn’t true. It was getting to be dinner time so Phasma and I had ordered some food. I was painting her toenails and some stupid movie played on the TV. The door hissed open and neither of us paid attention because he just thought it was a droid bringing in our meals. Suddenly Phasma pulled her foot away from me and she stood up. I looked over to see Kylo Ren standing there this time wearing all of his robes and mask. I rarely saw this Kylo. He usually took his mask off as soon as he entered our little home and he would always change into something a little more casual.

“Captain you are off duty. You may leave.” I hated the distorted voice that came from the mask. 

“We just ordered our dinner.” I simply stated. 

“I am back now she can go take a break.” Kylo argued back.

“No. She is going to stay and eat dinner with me like she always does when she spends to day with me.” Phasma’s eyes were wide. She couldn’t believe that I had just said no to her boss. I watched as he opened his hand wide and then turned it into a tight fist. He stomped off to our room and slammed the door shut. 

“He is right I should really go.”

“Are you serious?” That was the last thing I could say before she practically ran out the door. I was mad now and I got even more angry when the droid came in and delivered a lovely chicken dinner for 2. He better come out here and eat this is all I kept thinking about as I angrily cut into my chicken. I was doing my best to project my thought so I knew he would hear me. I was surprised when he sat across from me and started serving himself food. He was unmasked and his hair was damp from sweat. He wore black sweatpants and not shirt. I glared at him in between taking bites of my food. 

“You’re angry with me.” He said before pouring himself a glass of wine. I watched as he took a large sip of it and then place it back down on the table.

“I told her she was off duty. Her job is not to be your friend. He job is to help you if something happens or if you need anything.” I just continued staring at him as he spoke. He finished his dinner and I just picked at mine. If he did like me he had a strange way of showing it because he silently went to our bedroom. I stayed in the living room watching mindless TV until it was the next day. I tried to ignore him when he stood next to me. I could see his messy head of hair from the corner of my eye. I lonely looked at him when the TV turned off and saw the remote in his hand.

“Excuse me I was watching that.” I gave him a stern look. He raised his eyebrows and then grabbed my body and put it over his shoulder.

“What the hell are you doing?” I was slapping his back and kicking my legs. Moments later I was dropped onto the bed. I was taking deep breaths in and out to try to compose myself. He continued standing over me. His eyes were a little red. He had clearly just woken up. He wanted to sleep in the bed tonight but he wasn’t going to say it. I just gave him a slight nod to tell him that it was ok. He understood and walked to the other side of the bed. This time he laid on top of the covers and fell asleep almost instantly. I was still angry with him. He need to realize that he was my husband not my ‘commander’. 

“Projecting all sorts of things tonight are we?” He questioned me. He had turned himself so he was facing me. I continued looking at the ceiling. I needed to stand my ground.

“Listen I get it ok? You’re angry. Will you please just go to bed or control your thoughts so I can sleep?” I looked over at him. I did feel a bit guilty that I was keeping him up because he wakes up much earlier than I do. I shuffled over to him and put my arm around his waist.

“You’re only allowed to do this if you go to sleep alright?” He talked to me as though I was a child but I just nodded and nuzzled my head into his chest. I closed my eyes and inhaled his manly scent. I didn’t want to admit that I enjoyed this. I didn’t want to admit that my time here had been nice but it had been. I was hoping that things would stay like this and maybe he would sleep next to me from now on. I would like that. I would like to kiss him but I knew he was asleep now. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter I made a little longer so I hope it is better.

I woke up and the bed was empty. I strolled out into the living room feeling a bit sad because I knew Phasma had to go back to real work for today. As I was getting dressed I came up with a good idea to go on a walk. I hadn’t left the apartment in days and it would be good to get some ‘fresh’ air. I slipped out of my home and into the brightly lit hallway. I was curious as to why it was completely empty but shrugged it off and continued walking. None of the storm troopers even glanced my way. I wasn’t sure where I was headed but I could soon see what looked like a sort of control room. I saw Kylo Ren and General Hux enter a closed door. I smiled to myself and thought that maybe dropping in on him would make him act differently towards me. Maybe he would think of me as a person and not just someone who sleeps in his bed at night. I walked up to the door and I was surprised no one was stopping me. I was about to knock when I heard a crashing noise. I heard whooshing sounds that had to be from a lightsaber. I turned on my feet to try to nonchalantly walk away but I couldn’t. My body was frozen. I was numb. I heard the door open.

“He’s all your’s.” Hux whispered in my ear sinisterly. My eyes went wide. 

“Come here.” I was now able to move and I did as Kylo said. I walked into the room that was once a nice place for a meeting and was now destroyed. The tables and chairs in multiple pieces and the walls had large gashes in them.

“What do you need?” He sounded out of breath even through the mask. 

“I was just going on a walk…” 

“Just going on a walk?” He sounded disgusted by the idea. His breathing was become steady and I almost think I heard him chuckle.

“Why didn’t anyone stop me from coming here?” I tried to change the subject.

“You are my wife.” I didn’t know what else to say. I was just trying to distract the both of us from our surroundings.

“Will you be home for dinner?” That was on of the dumbest things I could have asked. I just asked Kylo Ren if he would be home for dinner. What the hell is wrong with me!

“Yes.” He replied plainly. I think he was even confused at why I asked that. I looked him up and down and left the room. I nearly ran down the hall to get away from the awkward situation I had put myself in. Once I was far enough away I slowed down. I was on a bridge surrounded by glass windows. I could see outside to all the beautiful planets and stars. I sighed and slumped down to the floor. I was so embarrassed. I shouldn’t have even gone on a wake. I have only been out for an hour or so. But then again what the hell was I going to do next. Phasma and Kylo had things to do. I was alone or so I thought. I heard the tapping of boots on the tile floor. I closed my eyes for a moment and then opened them. Kylo stood at the end of the hall way. 

“Come. Eat lunch with me.” I followed his orders like I always did. He led me to a room back near the control area. All it had was some chairs and a table with a small spread of food on it. I sat down and Kylo sat down across from me. He made sure the door was shut and then he took his helmet off and placed it on a chair next to him.

“You ran away before I could ask you to eat with me.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“You are very self conscious about what you say to me.” 

“I don’t want to say the wrong thing.”

“You are afraid you will make me angry?”

“Yes and no.”

“I won’t hurt you if that’s what you think.”

“I know.” I looked down and pushed the food I had on my plate around.

“I asked you to join me for a reason.” I simply nodded and continued to play with my food.

“I will be leaving tomorrow for a mission.” I bit down on my lip so hard I thought it might bleed. Questions were filling my head. How long would he be gone? Where was he going? Was he in danger?

“I don’t know how long I will be gone.” This was the only question he answered. We ate in silence.

That night he did not share a bed with me. I stayed up all night staring at him and hoping that he wasn’t in any real danger. The morning came and he woke up. I was still awake so I watched him get ready. I didn’t care anymore if he knew I was staring. Kylo Ren was one of the only things about this place that brought me some sort of comfort so I didn’t know how I would feel when he was gone. He had his mask in his arm and he stood at the door. His eyes were glued to the floor. He wanted to say goodbye but he didn’t know how to. I got up from the bed and I kissed his cheek. No words were spoken he simply left. 

A week went by and I had become more familiar with my new home. I took walks frequently and had made a few acquaintances. It was starting to feel good being there. I missed Kylo but mostly at night. I had only slept next to him twice but those nights were the times I got the best sleep. I was thinking about him right now as I laid in the large bed. I was right in the middle flipping through a magazine trying to make myself tired so I could sleep when I jumped from a loud knock on my door. I sighed and crawled out of bed. I was only in Kylo’s shirt and my underwear so I was trying to put some sweatpants on. The knocking was continuous and getting rather annoying. I opened the door and Phasma stood there in her complete armor. I had never seen it up close like this. 

“You need to follow me.” I didn’t question her I just ran after her as she marched down the hallway. I didn’t have to ask because I knew it was about Kylo. As we approached the medical center my heart began to race. There was so much chaos once we walked in. I was trying to block it out and figure out what was happening. Suddenly a nurse asked me to follow her and I did until we reached the very last room at the end of a very long hallway.

“He doesn’t look too bad right now but he is sleeping finally. He has a broken foot and some cuts and bruises. It seems like he hasn’t slept in days so try not to wake him. No one else has seen him except for me and the doctor but we figured that you are his wife so you should.” I nodded and entered the room alone. He laid there on the hospital bed, unmasked. He looked like he had been to hell and back. I sat on the chair they had put next the bed. I stretched out my hand and let myself touch the ends of his wild hair.

“Didn’t they tell you not to wake me up?” I rolled my eyes at his response and he opened his.

“Go back to bed.” He was ignoring my gaze.

“Don’t you want people to think we are married and maybe we actually like each other? I’m not just going back to sleep.” I replied. I sat back and crossed my arms over my chest.

“You missed me.” He let out a very small chuckle. I didn’t answer him. I didn’t want to admit that I missed him. The nurse slipped into the room.

“Oh Commander you are awake. If you would like you can stay in your quarters from now on and we will have someone come in and check on you.”

“Yes I think that my wife would prefer I stay with her.” I glared at him but he was expressionless.

“I will go let the doctor know. You will have to be brought to your room in a wheelchair. Is that alright Commander?” 

“Yes.” She slipped back out of the room to retrieve a wheelchair.

“Looks like you’re the one who missed me.” I whispered to him. He ignored it and slowly pulled the blanket off of him. He was in a hospital gown and had a cast on his foot already. He was pushing himself up to sit on the edge of the bed. He didn’t make a sound but I could see his muscles tense. I wasn’t going to offer my help because I knew he would turn it down. Soon enough the wheelchair was beside the bed and he managed to get himself into it. The halls were cleared before we left to go back to the room. Kylo didn’t want anyone to see him like this which was understandable. I wheeled him to the room. The doctor had given him some pain killers before we left and gave him a few more incase he couldn’t sleep. He had gotten onto the bed on his own and I laid on the other side reading a book. I tried to ignore the fact that he was hurt because I didn’t want to bother him with questions or concerns. I finally looked over at him when he let out a big dramatic sigh. He didn’t meet my gaze so I put my book away and turned off the light. I assumed that is what he wanted. My back to turned toward him. My eyes were already closing because I hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep. I didn’t protest when I felt his hands grab my waist and pulled my across the bed. His face when in my hair and I could have sworn he kissed the top of my head.

“You forgot to change.” That’s when I remembered I was wearing his shirt but he didn’t sound like he minded.

Waking up in the morning with Kylo Ren’s arms around me was a better feeling then I thought it would be. I could feel his hair against my neck. His large rough hand was on my bare side. His hand had snuck up the side of my shirt in the middle of the night. I didn’t want to move because I knew it would be hell if I woke him. I felt his thumb start rubbing circles on my side. I closed my eyes focusing on the lovely sensation.I let out a small sighed and closed my eyes. I some movement in the bed and then I felt hot breath on my ear. 

“I have to take a piss.” My eyes shot open. My hand made a fist and I took a deep breath in. I got up from the bed to get his crutches. I stood on his side of the bed glare at him as he maneuvered himself to the edge of the bed.He held onto the crutches and go himself up. I got out of his way so he had a path to the bathroom. I got back into bed once I knew he was in the bathroom. He didn’t fully close the door so I could hear him pee which made me ever more angry. If he could hear my thoughts he was definitely ignoring them. As soon as he got out of there I made my way in and closed the door. I took a long shower trying to forget about of much of an ass he was this morning. I decided that I needed to let it go because of his injuries. Once I got out of the shower I wrapped my hair in a towel and wrapped my body in one as well. I walked into the bedroom and saw the nurse from yesterday examining Kylo’s foot.

“Oh lovely wife, we have company you might want to change.” I stomped off to the closet not caring whether the nurse saw me or not. I pulled on one of my usually outfits and walked out of the room. The nurse was writing things down on a clipboard but looked up when she noticed me.

“So I will be coming in here in the morning for the next few days to check up on him. We will be getting a shower chair brought in as soon as possible because that will make it easier for him to shower by himself. Everything looks good for now. These first few days you might just want to stay with him because he might need help with the crutches or it may hurt too much for him to walk.”

“Alright sounds good. Thank you so much.” I put on a fake smile and led her to the door. I thanked her again for helping him and she left. I dreaded going back into the bedroom but I knew I had to do it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Posting this a little early so the next chapter won't be up until like Tuesday! I'm not sure I'm too confident in this chapter so please let me know if you like where the story is going

The last few days have been hell. I have waited on him hand and foot. He has barely left the bedroom. The only time I got alone was when he was in the shower or he was sleeping.Every night I pretended that him pulling me closer to him and us snuggling was his way of apologizing but I didn’t think that anymore because everyday I woke up to him being an ass. Right now I was sitting on the couch doing a sudoku puzzle when I could here his crutches hitting each other. I rolled my eyes and ignored it. I heard him making his way to the living room. He stood towering over me and I looked up at him. His hair was pushed back and greasy. He hadn’t taken a shower in a day or two. He complained about have to sit during his shower so he was clearly avoiding it. 

“You ignoring me now?” He swayed back and forth a little but not enough to lose his balance.

“No. I’m just sitting out here.” I turned back to my puzzle. 

“I don’t know what to do. I’m bored.” He sounded like he was a child. I wanted to roll my eyes but I knew it would start an argument so I refrained from it. 

“Maybe take a shower?” 

“I’m hungry.”

“Ok then why don’t you shower and I will get dinner?” I needed to be alone if only for 20 minutes or so.

“Ok.” He walked off and I nearly wanted to scream I was so happy. I turned the TV on because without him here I could watch whatever I liked. I flipped through the channels and found some stupid movie that seemed to be some sort of romance. I watched as the man and woman on the screen began to kiss. They grabbed at each other and started to undress. I bit my lip and turned the volume down. I snuck down into the couch and looked around to double check that he had left.One of my hand rubbed at the waistband of my sweatpants and the other was already up my shirt grasping at my breast. I couldn’t remember the last time I had touched myself. I hadn’t thought about it since I moved here. I let my hand go into my pants and feel the soft fabric of my panties. By now my eyes were shut and I was thinking about how it would feel if I was the woman on the TV. I pushed my hand under my panties and nearly gasped at the feeling of wet lips. I put slight pressure on my clit and bit my lip to hold back any strange noise I could have made. I wasted no time in pushing a finger inside myself. I continued with the fantasy in my head but suddenly the man I imagined touching me was not the handsome actor on the TV, it was Kylo Ren. I tried to shake the thought but had no success. I was imagining him kissing my neck and is large hands caressing every part of my body. I remembered how much of a jerk he had been the past few days and the man in my fantasy switched back to the actor. But then I couldn’t help but think about how his plump lips would feel kissing my thighs and how good his tongue would feel across my skin. I imagined how his hair would brush in between my thighs before his lips were on my most intimate parts. Then I felt myself fall over the edge. I continued touching myself, riding the waves of pleasure out until they subsided. I kept my eyes closed. I want to just fall asleep now but my eye shot open when I realized I had never ordered dinner.

He would be out of the shower any minute. I rushed to get up and put in a random order. I combed through my hair with my fingers and straightened out my shirt. I sat back on the couch and flipped through the channels finding some other show to watch. Not too long after Kylo made his way into the room. This time shirtless and with dripping wet hair. He plopped down on the couch next to.

“You feeling a bit better now that you took a shower?” I tried to play nice. 

“Will the food be here soon?” 

“Yes.” I rolled my eyes at the fact that he ignored my question. The rest of the night went on in silence until we were in bed. His arm was around my waist as always and we were pressed against each other. 

“By the way the shower did make me feel better. But now let me ask you something. Thinking about me while you touched yourself, did that make your orgasm more enjoyable?” I could barely wrap my head around what he had just said to me.

“Excuse me?” I stuttered out.

“When people masturbate they project a lot. I could see everything you were thinking about.”

“I uh I don’t even know what to say.” 

“Don’t say anything. You find me attractive. I find you attractive. It’s just nature.”

“It doesn’t feel weird to know that I was uh…”

“Fantasizing about me? No. If you don’t want me to know next time then wait until I actually leave. Now I have to go to sleep.” And that was the end of it. Of course sleep was the last thing on my mind. I was so embarrassed I felt like I could die. I just laid there. Why didn’t I think about that he would see my thoughts. And the his words ‘I find you attractive’ kept running through my head. I felt his fingers run through my hair and suddenly I got so tired I couldn’t think of anything else except for sleep. 

I forced myself to wake up because I had felt like I had slept for 3 days straight. I was surprised that Kylo was still holding me. I turned my body so I was lying on my back.

“Good morning.” He said softly. The events of last night had rushed back to me. Then I realized how I had gotten to sleep and I was furious. 

“How did you do that last night? The force I’m assuming?” 

“Yes. If I didn’t do that you would have never fallen asleep.”

“What time is it?” I desperately wanted to change the subject so it wouldn’t go back to what happened yesterday.

“Probably 1 maybe 2pm. Thee nurse came in a while ago but I asked her to come back later.” 

“Why did you let me sleep this late?”

“You go to sleep at absurd hours. I just thought it would be best for you to get a goodnight’s rest.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” 

“You seemed pretty upset last night. I also think I am nice to you all of the time so I don’t know why you are questioning me now.” I glared it him. He must be crazy.

“You think you are nice to me all of the time? You have been a total ass ever since you broke your foot! I have been trying to put up with it. I have been making up excuses and telling myself that I should feel bad for you but I shouldn’t.” This was it. Everything was coming out now and I knew I couldn’t stop myself. I got off of the bed and went to the bathroom. I slammed the door shut and locked myself in there. I started to draw myself a bath. I knew I needed to calm down. As soon as I undressed I heard the nurse arrive. I knew that would keep him busy for at least 10 minutes. I got into the tub and let out a long sigh. Why was he so cute and nice one minute and then a total jerk the next? Suddenly I remember to keep my thoughts quiet incase he could hear them. I aimlessly watched as I moved my hands under the hot water. My hair was up in a messy bun so that it wouldn’t get wet. I took some soap and poured it into the water. I closed my eyes and thought about how my life would be like at home. I would be with my friends right now. Probably eating lunch with them or maybe spending time with my mother. I longed to be home. 

“My foot has been healing well.” I didn’t open my eyes. I would have asked how he got into the room but I already knew he had used the force to unlock it.

“I should be starting physical therapy in about 3 weeks. It would have been longer but I guess the technology on the ship is very up to date.” I still didn’t acknowledge him. I didn’t feel like it was necessary.

“I did not realize I was being so rude to you. I mean I think that I was pretty nice to you. I did buy you that tub that you are in.” I leaned my head back and stayed quiet. I heard something scratch the floor so I opened my eyes. He was pulling the chair out of the shower and into the center of the large bathroom. He did this with the force because he was unable to do it with his injury. He stook a seat and looked at me with slight smirk on his face. This is when it dawned on me that I was naked and he could probably see all of me.

“The water is covering you. Don’t worry.” I used my arms to cover my chest anyway.

“Are you going to talk to me? Would you like a bottle of wine to relax more?” He chuckled.

“What exactly are you upset about so I atleast know.” He was growing frustrated with my silence now.

“Last night. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that to you. I didn’t realize you would be so embarrassed about it.” 

“You didn’t think I would be embarrassed about it? Why?” I finally had to say something. I couldn’t keep it in. Why the hell would he think it would be ok to say that to me.

“I don’t know. I just think masturbation is very normal.”

“For some of us it is an intimate thing. So maybe try to ignore any of those thoughts that you might hear.” I kicked my feet a bit and watch the water move.

“You would be surprised what some people think about. My quarters used to be next to Hux’s. That was strange.” He laughed and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Are you going to sit in there for the rest of the day or are you going to come and lay in bed with me?” He had a cocky smile on his face now. He knew he had won me over.

“Fine. But only because you said sorry.” I pouted. He got out of the chair and picked up his crutches. He slowly made his way back to the bedroom but I waited until the door was shut to hop out of the tub. I wrapped the towel around me and went into the bedroom. I was hoping I could sneak by without him notice. He seemed to be caught up in some documents for work so I slipped into the closet. I thought since it would be a lazy day that there was no need for a bra so I put on a tank top and a loose fitting t-shirt. I put on a pair of black shorts and looked in the mirror to fix my hair a bit. I walked to the bed and crawled under the covers. I moved close to him and I propped myself up on my elbow.

“Also if you want to go back to your home we can.” He placed the documents on the bedside table and turned to me.

“No I think I’m ok.” I put my head on his chest.

“I never said we were going to cuddle.” He joked.

“It was implied.” I smiled as I traced patterns on his soft cotton t-shirt. He let out a loud sigh and started playing with my hairs that had fallen out of my bun.

“Are you liking it here?” He sounded so cute and nervous when he asked.

“It’s nice. It is just different from what I am used to. It can be a bit lonely.”

“Well you shouldn’t feel lonely right now.” 

“I never said I did.” 

“I know this isn’t what you wanted…” 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short and pretty fluffy. I promise The next chapter will be longer and not as boring.

The next days were lazy ones. Often the two of us did not get out of our pajamas and spent much of the day in bed. I wished I had savored them more because soon enough they were gone. Kylo Ren started physical therapy and was getting much better. The bruises and scrapes on his body were disappearing and he was walking around a lot more. Every day it seemed like he was out of the room for a longer amount of time. This morning I wandered down to the medical wing and took a peek at his physical therapy secession. I knew he felt me there watching but he didn’t say a word. I had mixed conflicting emotions of being proud of him for getting better and not wanting him to get better so that he could spend his days with me. I knew I only had a couple left until he would be back working with Hux. Right now I sat in the living waiting for him to walk through the door. But it took a half an hour to see the mass of black robes slowly walk in. I tried not to act so excited so I kept my eyes on the TV. I heard a click, hiss, and thud so I knew his helmet was off. He flopped down next to me on the couch letting out a sigh.

“Bad day?” I asked picking up my glass of wine and taking a sip. He didn’t respond but when I got up to go to the bedroom he followed. He was taking his robes off and dropping them to the floor. He was acting strange and not like himself. He hated when there was clutter but right now he just crawled into bed. I tried not to think about it too much. I changed into my pajamas and went to the bathroom. I was washing my face when I heard him shuffling around the bedroom. I looked up and turned my head to see Kylo standing in the doorway

“I’m just finishing up if you need to use the bathroom.” I grabbed a towel to dry my face. I put the towel in the laundry basket and went to go back to bed. I stood in front of him but he wouldn’t move. I looked up at him. I wished I could get inside his head. I wanted to know what was wrong. Why was he acting like this. I shivered as I felt his hand rest on my hip. His expression was still blank. He never gave himself away. I just stared back at him with a look of confusion. His lips moved upward slightly almost forming a smile. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my cheek. 

He pulled away and took his hand off of my hip. Instead he took my hand in his and made me follow him to bed. I was smiling and blushing as I slowly walked toward him to bed. He sat at the edge of the bed still holding my hand as I stood before him. He looked me up and down. I moved back and forth unsure of what I was supposed to do. I played with our hands. I swung them back and forth and giggled nervously. I bit my lip and inched toward him. 

“Kiss me.” He whispered as I got closer to him. My face was burning but I followed his orders and placed a kiss on his cheek.

“I think it’s time for bed.” I whispered back. I pulled my hand away and crawled onto the bed and under the covers. He did the same and pulled me close to him like he did every night. I was looking up at the ceiling. He rested his head on my chest and wrapped his arms around my waist. I ran my fingers through his hair.

“It was a bad day.” He said.

“I’m sorry.” I rested my hand on his head for a moment but then continued playing with his hair until he fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning and nearly gasped at the sensation I was feeling. A pair of soft plump lips were leaving kisses on my neck. I felt the lips curve into a smile. He knew I was awake now. 

“Good morning.” He moved his head up so he could see me.

“Uh...um good morning.” What was up with him. First the strangeness of last night and now morning kisses.

“I have to go. I have physical therapy and then I must attend a meeting.” I just nodded and let go of my slight grip on him. I watched him carefully as he slowly moved around the room trying to get ready. Once he left the day was pretty normal. I went for a walk and snuck in to look through the window at Kylo in the medical wing. I was trying to smile and be happy but I was confused by why he was showing so much affection. He was doing better than the last time so he was let out a bit early. I ran off to the room so he wouldn’t see me. Today Phasma was allowed to stay with me for a few hours so we made some coffee and talked for a while.

“How have things been with him?” She asked before taking a sip of her drink.

“Good. Better than before. He has been acting very sweet lately he uh asked me to kiss him last night. It was a bit strange but I didn’t mind.”

“Uh yeah that doesn’t really sound like Ren at all. Are you sure he didn’t injure his head?” She joked.

“Listen (y/n) just be careful. You know that his attitude can change drastically within seconds so I wouldn’t get too comfortable with this so called cute and cuddly commander you are speaking of.”

“I don’t know maybe he just acts different when he doesn’t have to be the commander. When he can just be himself.” I got sad thinking that Phasma was probably right. This niceness will probably disappear very soon. The day went on and when it came time for dinner Kylo came back to the room. He took his helmet off and walked to the kitchen. I jumped when I felt his arms wrap around my waist from behind.

“Hello.” I said softly and placed one of my hands on his. He hummed and gripped me a little tighter.

“Can I ask you why you are in such a good mood lately?” He spun me around so I was facing him. He was walking us slowly backwards until my back was against the wall. He leaned his face in close to mine. A million thoughts were running through my head as my eyes trailed down his face and to his lips. I closed my eyes as our lips touched. I brought my hands up to his hair and ran my fingers through it. We pulled away from each other. I looked down at my feet not wanting to make eye contact with him after what just happened. Suddenly I felt his grip on me tighten and my feet weren’t on the ground anymore.

“No! Put me down! You can’t carry me. It will hurt your foot.” I tried to protest but as soon as I told him not to do it he wanted to prove to me that he could carry me to bed despite his injury. It too a little longer then I expected but I wasn’t complain. I laid on the bed as he hovered over me. He kissed me again. This time more with more passion.I wrapped my arms around his neck but because of this foot he lost his balance and fell on top of me. 

“Are you alright?” I giggled but he just moved me to the middle of the bed and he followed. I was looking up at him as he stared down at me. He laid on his side and wrapped his arms around my waist. I sighed as he nuzzled his face into my neck.

“I’m taking you home for a visit next week.”

“What? Why?” I pulled away from him so I could see his face.

“We should see your parents.”

“So you have business to conduct with my father?”

“Yes but I know you miss your mother.” He was right. I did miss her but I knew if I went home I wouldn’t want to come back here.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up probably Friday or Saturday.

I stepped onto the ship and took a seat. Kylo Ren was supposed to be joining me any second. I bit my lip and watched a few storm troopers file in. The pilot was getting ready to go.

“You must strap in Ma’am.” He said to me while inspecting the ship. Kylo entered wearing his full attire including the helmet. He took a seat next to me. The pilot took this as a sign to get ready to go. He took his seat up front leaving Kylo and I in the back. 

“You’re nervous. Why?” He questioned me.

“I don’t like travelling.” I simply stated. The ship began to lift of the ground and I closed my eyes. I took in a deep breath and let it out. I continued taking slow deep breaths and then I felt the cool smooth leather of his glove on my hand. I opened up my hand so that he could hold it. He did just that and I gripped it tightly as I felt the ship move forward.

“It’s only a few hours.” He reassured me. I put my head on his shoulder while I kept my eyes shut. His other hand rested on the top of my head. I felt myself getting distracted and lulling off to sleep. 

I opened my eyes and Kylo wasn’t next to me. I looked around and it looked like we had just landed. I lazily go up and went to the door. I opened it and there my parents stood. My mother ran over to me and gave me a hug. 

“Oh (y/n), I have missed you so much.” I hugged her back but I was still a little unsteady. I was sleepy and I need to wake up. I hugged my father and looked around. My home was on Naboo it was a beautiful planet that I truly took for granted. I jumped a little when I felt an arm snake around my waist. I look to my left and saw Kylo. He greeted both of my parents and I leant a against him a bit feeling as though I could sleep for 10 more hours.

“Follow me,we have a meal prepared for you both.” We followed my parents in the house. Kylo finally took his mask when we got to the elegant dining room. We had multiple dining rooms but this was the special one we used for guests. My parents sat across from Kylo and I. The conversations were light and a bit boring until my mother chimed in.

“So when do you think I will be getting grandchildren?” She asked casually. I gulped and I felt my face burning up. Kylo and I really only shared kisses on the cheek and even that was rare. Having sex with him was something I didn’t see happening anytime soon. I looked down at my plate to try and hide my red face. 

“They have only been married a few months dear don’t pester them about having kids already.”

“Well I got pregnant a month after we got married.” My mother argued back. I looked up and my father stared at her. No one was going to talk about the fact that the difference between our marriage and their’s was that they had known each other for years before getting married. 

“I think it’s a little different for them.” My father whispered to her. My mother looked at me and frowned once she realized what she had said. 

“Commander, why don’t we go into the other room and talk some business over dessert while these two ladies talk about us behind or backs.” My father joked and Kylo even let out a very small fake laugh. He followed my father out of the room.

“I’m sorry I forgot...” My mother looked like she was about to cry.

“It’s ok. I mean I guess we look pretty convincing.” I told her as I stirred the cream into my coffee.

“Is he treating you well?” 

“Yes.” I took a sip of my drink and sighed.

“Do you two share a room?”

“Yes.” I knew I was blushing so I looked away from her.

“Do you…”

“Do you need to know everything about us?” I questioned back.

“I just want to know if it works like a normal relationship.”

“We have been sharing a bed lately.” I had to tell her something a bit personal to make her happy.

“You want to know something?” I giggled a little bit. My mother smiled and nodded.

“He is a bit of a cuddler.” 

“Really?” My mom laughed a little.

“Don’t tell anyone though. I don’t think he would like people knowing that about the Commander.” 

“Does he wear that helmet a lot? Because I can imagine him wearing that in his sleep.” We both laughed.

“No. He only wears it outside of our quarters. I wouldn’t like it very much if he wore that around me.”

“Do you think he likes to wear it while making…” 

“Mother! No do not even say that!” 

“I’m just saying. Maybe you will find out.” I rolled my eyes. 

“I have missed you a lot. Your father thinks I’m going a little crazy so he has been working a little less.”

“That’s good. Plus you have friends. You are not alone.” 

“But are you alright?” Was I alright? It took me a few seconds to answer.

“Yes. I have made some friends and I see Kylo every night unless he has a mission. It can be a bit boring but overall it’s ok. I’m ok.” 

“Well I think you should come back and see us every couple of months. You are our only daughter.”

“Yes I know. I was just afraid that if I came back too soon that I wouldn’t want to go back.” Just as I finished my sentence the boys entered the room.

“Alright its getting pretty late. We should all probably head up to bed.” My father announced.I stood up and took Kylo’s hand to lead him up to my room.

“We will be staying in my room.” I told my parents.

“Alright but if the Commander doesn’t like it in there then he can stay in the guest room.” My father told me. I rolled my eyes and continued up the stairs. I opened the door to my room and smiled. It was the same as how I left it. He put his helmet on a small table and watched as I laid down and tried to spread out of the whole king sized bed. 

“This bed might be more comfortable than our’s.” I smiled at him. He took his outer robes off and placed them on a chair.

“Where is your bathroom?” He asked. I pointed to the white door on the right side of the room. He went in and closed the door. I looked around my room. I had a large vanity and comfortable chairs and couches to sit on. The room wasn’t too simple but it wasn’t overwhelming either. I got up and closed the bedroom door just as he walked out of the bathroom. 

“This is a nice house.” He was trying to make small talk which made me smile.

“Well you can tell my father that. He is the one that owns it.” I joked with him.

“You don’t have to come back with me if you don’t want to.” 

“What are you talking about?” I stepped toward him.

“You are noticeably happier here.” He stated. I rolled my eyes and stepped even closer to him.

“And you’re lucky I won’t be upset this time that you told your mother that I like to cuddle but next times why don’t we keep that information to ourselves.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him so our bodies pressed against each other.

“Its not a lie.” 

“I know.” His lips tugged into a smile which caused me to smile. He leaned in and pressed his forehead against mine.

“You going to tease me again?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He whispered.

“The first night we slept in bed next to each other you pretended like you were going to kiss me but instead you left.”

“Did you want me to kiss you?” I bit my lip because I wasn’t sure if I should answer truthfully. I nodded my head yes.

“Do you want me to kiss you right now?” I gulped.

“Yes.” I said so softly I wasn’t sure he had heard me until he leant in and pressed his lips on mine. I put my arms around his neck to pull him deep into the kiss. We pulled apart and he smiled at me. I pulled him back down and kiss him hard on the mouth. He lightly bit my bottom lip and I could feel myself melting into him. I let out a small moan as his tongue explored my mouth a bit and then retreated. We pulled away from each other.

“So does that make up for my teasing?” 

“I guess so.”


	10. Chapter 10

The next day I woke up early and left Kylo fast asleep in my bed. I went to the kitchen to see my mother cooking breakfast. I walked in and surprised her with a hug.

“Good morning sweetie.” She replied while whisking some eggs in a bowl.

“Good morning.” I grinned at her and pulled away. 

“Didn’t even change out of your pajamas?” She chuckled while looking at me.

“Nope I’m too lazy.”

“Well you have to have tea later and visit with some of my friends so today will not be a pajama day.” I rolled my eyes. I hated her friends. They were always asking me questions that were too personal or just plain rude. I knew I had to suck it up though for at least an hour. 

“Might want to go get the Commander up. I think your father will be upset if he comes down late for breakfast.” I walked back to my room and opened the door. Kylo laid on my bed with the blankets starting about mid way down his chest and covering everything below that. His hair was all over his face and his arms stretched askew across the bed. I walked to the end of the bed and crawled up it. I finally met his face and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. His warm arms wrapped around my body and pulled me on top of him. 

“Time for breakfast.” I sang to him. He didn’t even open his eyes he just let out a sigh.

“C’mon my mother made breakfast and I guarantee you will think it’s delicious.” I tried to sway him out of bed. He opened his eyes and I rolled off of him.

“Only because your mother is a lovely woman.” He mumbled while pushing himself up. I smiled and watched him get out of bed. I thought about what his mom would be like and if I would ever get to meet her.

“No.” He said while rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes. I sat up and gave him a confused look.

“You will never meet my mother.” He stated before walking into the bathroom. He slammed the door slightly and I bit my lip. I didn’t mean to upset him. I was just curious about his parents. I tried to push the thought out of my head as I rummaged through my old clothes for a suitable outfit to wear for the day. I decided on a nice sundress and light sweater. I put my hair in a loose braid and did light makeup. By the time I was finished Kylo walked out of the bathroom where his black shirt and pants. His hair was still a bit damp. He put on the rest of his robes. 

“Let’s go.” He said sternly. I put out his arm for me to take it. I didn’t want to but I did anyway because I didn’t want my parents to think something was wrong. We arrived in the dining room where my father was already seated and my mother was setting down plates.

“Ah you two finally got up and just in time for some breakfast!” I smiled at my father cheeriness. Kylo and I sat down next to each other and waited for the food to arrive. The meal was filled with my parents telling us the ‘exciting’ things that they had been doing. Although their activities were not very interesting I was a little jealous because I don’t do anything when I am on the base. I stay in my quarters almost all day. Once we were finished the table was cleared and the men left to my father’s office once again. This time they would be in their until late because they did not want to be a part of the tea party. 

Couples were showing up only a few hours later. The woman would join my mother and I in the dining room and the men would go to my father’s office. There were about 5 or so middle aged woman sitting at the table with my mother and I. I snacked on little sandwiches and cookies. I listened faintly to their conversation but didn’t pay much attention until I heard my name.

“So (y/n), how are you and your husband?” One woman questioned.

“Great! We are doing very well.” I smiled at her.

“You know dear, your mother is the only one who isn’t a grandmother yet.” Another woman chimed in. 

“Yes, when will you be having kids. You won’t be young forever!” They all erupted in laughter and my mother gave me an apologetic look.

“No the Commander. Is he just skinny or is he fit?” Another one asked and they all laughed again. I wanted to leave to badly. 

“Well (y/mother’s/n), You should feel lucky! My son in law has a good job but he is nothing compared to your’s! You must have pulled some strings to get that one!” I sipped my tea and looked at the table trying to ignore the obnoxious woman. I couldn’t just excuse myself my mother would be angry with me even if she did feel badly. I heard clicking of boots from the hallway and they gradually got louder until the abruptly stopped. I heard small gasps and whispers so I looked up from the table. Kylo Ren stood next to me. He was masked and held out his hand to me.

“I need to speak to my wife. Is it alright that she is excused from the table?” He asked my mother.

“Of course.” My. mother replied. I pushed my chair out and took his hand. I didn’t ask questions as he lead me up to my room. As soon as we walked in he closed the door and took off his helmet. 

“I could hear that you wanted to leave.” He stated while taking a seat on my bed. I slipped my shoes off and sat next to him.

“I wanted to get out of their too.” He told me while playing with his gloves.

“Older people are strange they ask a lot of weird questions.” I said.

“Those men were acting as though being married was such a bad thing.”

“Well atleast they aren’t asking you when you are going to have children.” I leaned on his shoulder.I let out a small yawn and flopped back onto the bed. He got up and took his outer robes off and joined me.

“I’m sorry about this morning.” I told him in a quiet voice. He just looked at me. His eyes were gradually moving all over my face like he was trying to study me. I moved closer to him and put my head on his chest. I closed my eyes to take a short nap.

“Oh my god, just look at them (y/father’s/n)!” I heard my mother whisper.

“Dear, the Commander is my business partner I don’t really think we should be spying on them…”

“I don’t care if he is your business partner. He is also our son in-law. They are too cute.” I kept my eyes closed and tried not to smile. 

“Who would have known he was so handsome. Our grandkids are going to be gorgeous.” Just then I heard Kylo mumble a bit and pull me closer to him.

“C’mon let’s go!” I heard the door close softly and there foot steps run down the hall. 

“You’re mother is ridiculous.” Kylo Ren said quietly.

“I know.” I reply and pulled my head up so I could see his face. He looked adorable whenever he would wake up.

“Stop.” He took one arm off of my waist so he could push his hair back.

“Stop what?” I bit lip and smirked because I knew exactly what he was talking about.

“I am not cute.” I giggled and kissed him on the cheek. I looked at his face and into his deep brown eyes. I couldn’t resist so I leaned in and kissed his soft plump lips. The kiss only last a few seconds before both of us pulled away. I knew I shouldn’t have done it. I was just getting caught up in everything. I wished we could stay here and play house. I wanted to start a family and I was even starting to think that I really wanted to be with him. I sighed and rolled off of him. I got off of the bed and sauntered to the bathroom. I wanted to avoid him now but there was no way of doing that. I turned the shower on and started to undress. Once I was fully naked I heard a small knock at the door.

“Just a minute.” I said while grabbing a towel and wrapping it around me. I opened the door and Kylo stood there. He was staring at the ground and his hair was still a bit of a mess from the nap we had taken.

“Do you need something?” I asked. He rubbed the back of his neck and then looked up at me. He stepped toward me and cupped my face with his hands. He planted a small kiss on my lips. He pulled away and then looked at me. A small smile spread across my face and I slowly backed up into the bathroom.He turned away and walked toward the bed. I closed the door slowly and watch him go and lay down on my bed. He was smiling like I had never seen before.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy so many of you guys are enjoying this story because I have been enjoying writing it. Thank you so much so the kudos and the comments! The next chapter won't be up for at least 5 days.

I couldn’t help but smile as well as I hung up the towel and stepped into the shower. My hot water felt lovely on my skin. I stayed in there for about a half an hour until my fingers were starting to prune. I stepped out and found my towel. I wrapped it tightly around myself and walked into my room. Kylo was pacing around my room but the cold air hitting my skin made me ignore it. I walked to my closet and stepped in to find clothes. 

“We have to leave.” I heard him say. I sighed and slipped on a shirt and shorts. I wanted to cry because I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to fight him but I knew there was no use in arguing with him. He would win anyway.

“When?” I asked trying to keep myself composed as I sat at my vanity. I picked up a brush and ran it through my wet hair. 

“Tomorrow morning.” I felt tears starting to form. I looked in the mirror and saw Kylo Ren sitting on my bed and looking at me. 

“Good thing we didn’t unpack very much.” I said forcing a smile on my face. His mouth opened like he was going to say something. I waited as long as I could before a tear streamed down my face. I quickly walked out of the room so he wouldn’t see me and I ran down the hallway to my parents bedroom. I pushed the door open and the room was empty. I crawled onto the bed and under the covers. I tried to stop myself from crying but I couldn’t. Soon I heard my mother run into the room. She sat on the bed next to me and held me in her arms. 

“I’m sorry.” I told her.

“No. I’m sorry. I should have never done this to you. I don’t know what I was thinking.” We laid there together for about an hour. 

“Sweetie, let me bring you up some dinner. We can eat up here and the men can eat downstairs.” I just nodded and curled up more in the warm blankets. My mother and I laid in her bed and ate dinner together. We watched TV and didn’t talk much. It felt nice just to be with her. I tried to enjoy it as much as I could. It was getting late and eventually my father came in the room. He didn’t even look at me. He went straight to his bathroom. I knew he felt guilty. I started to get off of the bed when my mother put her arm on my shoulder.

“You don’t have to share a room with him if you don’t want to. You don’t have to go back with him either!” 

“No. I do have to go back. Don’t worry, I’ll be ok. I will come and visit again soon.” I told her. I even smiled to reassure her that I would be alright. I went back to my bedroom to see him sitting at the end of my bed. He was shirtless and wore black sweatpants. His hair was a bit of a mess and his face was expressionless. I didn’t say anything as I got into bed. He stayed where he was and didn’t even look at me.

“If you hated me so much you should have said so. I would have let you come back here a long time ago.” He spoke harshly. I pulled the covers back and crawled to him. I put one of my arms around him and kissed him softly on the shoulder.

“You know I don’t hate you.” He sighed angrily because he knew I was right.

“Can we please just go to bed?” I asked him. 

“We will talk about this tomorrow.” He said before getting up and going to the side of the bed. I smiled weakly and went back to the top of the bed. I laid down and watched him get in beside me. As soon as he was laying down I placed my head on his chest and pushed myself against him. He wrapped an arm around me and kissed the top of my head.

I woke up in the morning to an empty bed. I was getting out of bed when the bathroom door opened and Kylo Ren walked out. His hair was soaked and he had a towel wrapped around his waist. I watched as he walked across the room. 

“We are leaving in a few hours. You might want to pack.” He said to me while getting his clothes together. I walked to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I put my hair up in a neat ponytail and walked back into my room. He was fully dressed now except for the helmet. I went and undressed not caring if he saw me and put on comfortable pants and a sweatshirt. I would have dressed more formally but I knew that we would be travelling for a few hours and then I could just retire to our bedroom once we got back.

Saying goodbye to my parents was hard but I powered through it without any tears. I got on the ship and strapped in next to Kylo.

“Would you like me to put you to sleep like last time?” I heard his robotic voice say. I hated that helmet but I knew I had to put up with it. I looked at the ground and nodded. I felt his fingertips at my temple and then my eyes closed.

I woke up in our bed. He laid beside me distracted by some sort of book.

“What time is it?” I asked while trying to rub the sleepiness out of my eyes. He just ignored me and continued reading his book. I walked around the bed and into the closet. I stripped of my shirt, bra and pants.. I picked out a large comfortable t-shirt and thought that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to go pantsless tonight. I went back to the bed feeling his eyes on me the whole time. I sat on the bed and took my hair out letting it fall all over me. I started to braid it and Kylo put his book down. We made eye contact. I stopped braiding my hair

“You like braids?” I asked him just to break the silence.

“I don’t think about woman’s hair styles very often.” He replied dryly.

“But you must have some sort of an opinion on it.” 

“I like (y/haircolor).” He said which made me blush a bit. 

“Do you like short hair or long hair?”

“I like (y/hair length).” I smiled and looked down trying to hide my red face.

“I know you like my hair.” He stated.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” I was a terrible liar.

“You want to run your hands through my hair. You dream about it a lot.” I was upset now. Nothing was private anymore. He almost always knew what I was thinking. I gave him a glare but he didn’t seem to care.Without thinking I crawled over to him. Our intense stare didn’t stop until our lips connected. I don’t know what it was that compelled me to kiss him. He broke the kiss and sat up. He placed his hands on my hips and guided me so that my legs were straddling his. The kissing resumed. I hadn’t had many boyfriends in the past so this was exciting and new to me. I put my arms around his neck. I wanted to take this a step further so I bit down on his bottom lip just the slightest. When I did that he squeezed my hips and his tongue slid into my mouth. Once we pulled apart I could still taste him in my mouth.

“You dream about that too.” He whispered. He leaned forward and kissed me once again. I got off of him and laid down snuggling into his side. I had to admit that I really enjoyed that. I knew I wouldn’t have to tell him that though. He picked up his book again and continued reading. I was a bit surprised when I felt him playing with my braid. He pulled the hair elastic off and used his fingers to undo the braid. I hummed at the feeling and smiled.

“I don’t like the braid.” He said. I giggled and closed my eyes. I was a bit surprised when his hand didn’t leave my hair but instead continued to play with it.  

 

I heard a loud crash. I shot up in the bed and frantically looked around. Where was Kylo? I was the only one in bed. I got up and cautiously walked to the living room where I had assumed the noise came from. I watched him pick up a vase and through it at the TV. The TV was now clearly broken and the vase was smashed to pieces. I looked at the ground and saw that he had broken the glass coffee table once again. His face was completely red. He was covered in sweat and he looked like he hadn’t gotten any sleep. I could hear him breathing. He wouldn’t look at me but I stared at him. I saw blood dripping from his hand. He had smashed the table using his fist. I walked back into the bedroom and to the bathroom. He followed after me. He knew that if he didn’t I would make him talk to me. I took out some alcohol and bandages. He held out his hand to me and I cleaned it up. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He said as I started to bandages on the small cuts. I cleaned up my mess but he went back to the bed. He sat on the bed and I walked toward him.I kissed him on the cheek. His face turned red and he stood up.

“Stop it.” He said and went back to the living room. I was sad and had a hard time falling asleep without him in bed.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I actually had a lot of time on my hands so I finished this chapter and decided to post it as a little surprise. I hope you guys like it!

The next day was uneventful. I didn’t see Kylo Ren in the morning or afternoon. Right now I was going for a walk to try to get my mind off of him. Of course that didn’t work because I saw him walk by me. I gave him a weak smile but he didn’t stop his walking. I turned to see him walk down the hall and then he turned back to look at me. We made eye contact or at least I think we did, I couldn’t tell because of his helmet. He turned back around and continued on with his day. I was upset because I assumed I was the reason why he was angry. I moped around the room for the rest of the day hoping that he would come back. 

Days went by until I saw him again. Of course I didn’t go out looking for him because I thought it would make him more angry. I was eating my breakfast when he walked into our quarters. He immediately took his helmet off and stormed into the bedroom. I hesitated on following him. I could tell that he was still upset. I bit my lip and got up anyway. I stood in the doorway and his back was turned to me as he slowly undressed.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” He snapped at me. I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn’t think of anything to say.

“You are only part of the reason I am angry.” He said as he took his lightsaber off of his belt. I had never seen it before. He put it in a drawer in the bedside table. I swallowed hard because it made me nervous.

“Fantastic now you think I’m going to hurt you!” He yelled out and finally turned to me. He walked over to me.

“I wish you could keep your thoughts to yourself. I’m sick of hearing them!” He was close to me now. Only a few feet away.

“One minute you are obsessed with me. You want me to touch you and kiss you. You think that all I have on my mind is you? I have far more important things on my mind then this silly fake marriage that was forced upon us.” I felt the tears starting to form. Why was he doing this? I held my breath as he walked closer to me. He grabbed my face with his hands. He bit his lip hard and watched a few tears stream down my face. My breath was shaky and uneven. He leaned in and kissed me hard on the mouth. My hands immediately went to his hair. I ran my fingers through it and pulled his face even closer to mine. He pushed me against the door frame and grabbed my hips. His tongue entered my mouth and I moan. He lifted me so I could wrap my legs around him. I had to admit that I was enjoying this more than I should have. We broke apart both gasping for air. I let my hands fall from his hair and onto his shoulders. We didn’t move from our position for a while. He held me their pressed between him and the wall. I traced circles onto his bare shoulders. He sighed and closed his eyes. He was tired. 

“Let’s go to bed.” I whispered to him. With his eyes still closed her nodded and pulled me and him away from the wall. He held me while my legs slowly stretch to touch the floor. He opened his eyes and let go of me. He laid down in bed. He turned and gave me those puppy dog eyes so I got into bed with him. I wasn’t tired to I laid my head on his chest and waiting until he fell asleep. Once I heard his even breathing I looked up at him. He looked so peaceful when he slept. I felt like I had been lying with him for only a few minute but the truth is 2 hours had passed. I heard a knock on the door and slowly got out of bed. I didn’t want him to wake up yet. I opened the door to our quarters to see who it was.

“I need to speak to Commander Ren.” It was General Hux.

“He is busy right now.” I told him quietly.

“What could he possibly be doing right now?” He laughed.

“That is none of your business.” I fought back.

“You know I do have authority over you. You are just the Commander’s wife. That doesn’t mean anything.”

“I suggest you leave.” I heard the familiar stale robotic voice say. Hus rolled his eyes and walked away. I shut the down and turned around to see Kylo taking his helmet off.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“I was already awake before he got here.” He went to the kitchen.

“You can go back to bed.” I told him.

“I have work to do.” He told me coldly. I stared at him but he didn’t seem to care. This was the first time I had seen him in days. What has he been doing while he was gone? I mean if he was doing work couldn’t he just take a break for the day. I was frustrated with the fact that I knew he could hear my thoughts but he wasn’t saying anything. I stomped off to the bedroom. I know I was acting childish but I didn’t want him to go. He left anyway and I immediately called for Phasma. It didn’t take her long to come.

“Trouble with the husband?” She asked as she entered the living room.

“Just why is he playing these games with me? He kissed me and we cuddled and he was so nice to me and then he just randomly starts acting like a completely asshole. That’s not even the worst part! He has been gone for days!” I laid on the couch in exhaustion. I was sick of his attitude.

“Listen, I know you are frustrated and you are angry at him but I don’t think it will do you any good. I mean look at his job. He probably has a lot on his mind all of the time. One of the reasons why you are here is to keep him calm and give him some sense of normalcy.” I hated being reminded why I was there. I hated remembering that this was all set up.

“You have been doing a good job too.” 

“What are you talking about?” I was shocked that she had said that.

“Until recently he hasn’t had very many outbursts and no troopers have gotten injured by him lately. You must be doing something right.” 

“Well at least I’m doing what I came here for.” I sighed trying to feel optimistic. 

“You need to let him vent for a little bit.”

“I understand that but he has been venting for three days!” 

“You are in deep shit.” She laughed at me.

“What are you talking about?” I sat up quickly.

“You love Commander Ren.” She smiled widely as she said it.

“I do not!” I threw a pillow at her. I kept denying it. 

“Whatever you say Mrs.Ren. What’s funny is that I’m not even teasing you because that is your actual name.” She laughed and sat down. We heard the door open and both of our eyes went wide. We stared at each other afraid to look and see who it was. Then I heard the clicking of his shoes. Why was he back so soon? I looked up at him and he was staring back at me through his helmet. 

“I will be in the bedroom. Keep the noise to a minimum.” He walked to the bedroom and shut the door.

“Well that is my cue to leave…” Phasma got up from her seat. I sighed because I knew there was no way of convincing her to stay. I said goodbye and went to the bedroom. 

“I am angry with you.” I told him as I walked into the room. He was laying down reading.

“You think I don’t know that?” He almost smiled.

“I would like it if you stopped getting inside my head.” I laid down on the other side of the bed. 

“Then I would know that you dream about me.” He still hadn’t looked up from the book.

“Normally people wouldn’t know what others dream about. I think it is unfair that you know so much about me but I know nothing about you.” 

“I don’t dream.” He stated. It sounded almost sad.

“Then why don’t you tell me about you. About your past or maybe about the things you like?”

“Why does it matter?” 

“Because I am married to you and I know nothing about you!” I felt my face heating up. I was angry because he wouldn’t even look at me. I brought my hand up to pull the book away but it froze in place.

“Stop it! Stop using the force on me!” I yelled at him. 

“Stop acting crazy.” He chuckled. 

“You think I am acting crazy? You got up the other night and started smashing things! You left for 3 days without a word and then came back here and made out with me and then you proceeded to get angry and leave again! I want an explanation.” He finally put the book down and looked at me. 

“I will tell you when you are not acting crazy.” My hand was freed and he looked me up and down.

“I am not acting crazy!” Suddenly he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me on top of him. I gave him a stern look.

“Maybe you need a nice bath?” His hand was lightly rubbing my lower back.

“What are you doing?” I was surprised at how he was acting right now. It was so unlike him.

“I’m trying to be a good husband.” I rolled my eyes making him let out a small laugh.

“You are so angry at me.” He took a loose strand of hair and tucked in behind me ear.

“I will tell you something about me if you stop being angry.” I laid my head on his chest and sighed.

“My father was a scavenger. He wasn’t around much when I was a kid.” He continued rubbing my back and I closed my eyes.

“I will tell you one more thing too.” I opened my eyes and looked up at him.

“But you only get to know the second thing if you admit you are not mad and you will go take a bath.” I nodded at him and gave him a small smile.

“I think you are really cute when you are mad.” He said before placing a kiss on my lips.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright so this is a pretty boring chapter so I'm really sorry but thank you all so much for your nice comments I'm so happy that so many people are enjoying this story. I will post again this weekend and I will try to make it longer and less boring!

I followed his instructions and went to the bathroom. I turned on the hot water and started to undress. I hate to admit that he was right. I really did need to relax. I turned the water off and sat down in the tub. I hummed and closed my eyes. 

I opened my eyes and realized the water was colder. I had fallen asleep in there.Suddenly Kylo walked in and started washing his hands. I covered myself with my hands and stared at him.

“I had to wash my hands.” He said.

“Ok?” I replied in a confused tone. 

“I just finished masturbating.” He was now drying his hands.

“Why did you just tell me that?” 

“Because you got angry at me when I knew about you masturbating so I thought I would tell you.”

“Well that is something that I don’t need to know.”

“Don’t worry I wasn’t thinking about another woman.” With that he walked out of the room. I sat there and I put a hand to my face. I was burning up. I was a little bit ashamed to admit to myself that I was happy knowing he was thinking about me but I was also still very embarrassed. 

“Are you going to join me for dinner or are you going to stay in there all night?” He said from the bedroom. I rolled my eyes and got out of the tub. I wasn’t sure I liked this side of Kylo Ren too much but I guess I’m getting what I’m asking for. I put on a bathrobe and made my way to the kitchen.He was already sitting at the table with food in front of him. I sat across from him.

“Nice of you to dress up this evening.” I ignored his little joke and started my dinner off with a salad. 

“Falling asleep in the tub can be dangerous.” 

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I thought you weren’t going to get in my head anymore.” I said to him a bit annoyed.

“I didn’t get in your head and I can’t promise that I won’t do it again.” I nodded and continued eating and then I realized what he had just said.

“You came into the bathroom when you knew I was in the bath!” 

“Relax, I had to use the bathroom. It wasn’t like I was looking at you.”

“You weren’t looking at me but you were masturbating to the thought of me? I find that hard to believe.” 

“Well it’s the truth.” I rolled my eyes and huffed. Why was he doing this to me? It was like he was making me angry on purpose. 

Later that night when we retired to our room things were quiet. I was trying to let go of my angry and not think about the events of today. Today was just a rollercoaster of emotions. I laid in bed in some baggy sweatpants and a tank top. I wanted to force myself to go to bed early and I think Kylo felt the same way because I soon as he got under the covers he used the force to turn the lights off. I laid there for a minute waiting for him to grabbed my hips and pulled me up against him. 

“Am I allowed to do that?” He asked.

“Yes, you do it all the time anyway.” I told him.

“But do you like it? If you don’t like it then I won’t touch you.” 

“I like it.” I whispered to him. I was immediately pulled towards him. As my back pressed up against his chest I became warm from his touch. He placed a few small kisses on my bare shoulder and then on my neck. I put my arm on top of his arm which was wrapped around me. I used my fingertips to trace the veins I felt on his hands. His sweet kisses continued until I could sense him getting tired. Minutes later the kisses stopped so I knew he was asleep. I was calm now but still frustrated by his actions. I tried to push the thoughts to the back of my mind so I could get some sleep.

I woke up and he was still in bed with me. I was still frustrated and didn’t want him to think that he had won me over.I started to get out of the bed but his grip just got tighter and tighter.

“Let go of me.” I said sternly. He didn’t say anything. I turned around to see his eyes were closed. He pulled me so I was laying back down.

“I do not find this cute or amusing.”

“That’s too bad because I do.” He mumbled to me. I had to admit that his morning was pretty sexy. I struggled to get out of his arms but he was far too strong.

“I don’t get it.” He said plainly. He then let go of me so I could get up.

“Get what?” I said as I put on my slippers. 

“What do you want me to be?”

“What?” I had no idea what he was talking about now.

“You get mad at me when I am trying to act like your husband but you also get angry when I am distant.” I sat on the bed looking at the ground. I kicked my legs back and forth and watched them.

“Now you are uncomfortable. I don’t understand how I am supposed to talk about this with you.” He seemed frustrated and upset. 

“It’s hard to talk to you because I don’t understand you. You confuse me.” I admitted. He let out a sigh. I finally got off of the bed and went to the bathroom. Once I was finished brushing my teeth. I went back to the bedroom to get dressed. 

“My mother is General Leia Organa of the Resistance.” He said as I walked into the closest. He had already been in there almost like he was waiting for me. I tried to hide how surprised I was knowing who his mother was. That means his father must have been Han Solo! Finally it was starting to make some sort of sense.

“I have some training to do today. I will not be back until late.” He said pulling on his robes. I just nodded while I tried to focus on picking out an outfit for the day. 

“Don’t tell anyone what I have told you.” He said to me. I swallowed hard and nodded once again. Suddenly I felt his warm lips on my cheek. The kiss was quick and he was out of our room before I could fully react.

Not much of anything happened during the day. It was extremely boring until Kylo Ren came back. He seemed exhausted and he was nearly dripping with sweat when he took his helmet off. He walked near me and seeing as though he did not take a shower this morning he smelled pretty awful. He mumbled something and walked off. I followed far behind and watch him start to undress from the bedroom door. I took a couple steps into the bedroom. His robes were all over the floor. He was shirtless but still wearing his tight black pants. He turned around and saw me. He didn’t seem surprised in the least.

“Follow me.” He ordered. I did as I was told and followed him to the bathroom. 

“Draw me a bath.” 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your Kudos and comments! I decided to update early because I have so much school work to get done this weekend. The next chapter will be up in like a week but you guys know that it will probably be up sooner but I want to at least give myself some extra time if I need it. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

“Alright” I said. I turned the water on and went to the cabinet to get a bath oil. I grabbed a few and turned around. He was directly in front of me.

“Which one would you like?”

“Whichever one is your favorite.” I could barely comprehend his words as I stared at his beautiful face. I moved myself forward a bit more so we were nearly touching. He leaned down and I could feel his breath on my face.

“Which one is your favorite?” He asked quietly.

“Lavender.” I whispered back.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yeah.” I replied before he put his lips on mine. His kisses were usually sweet like this. Although he tastes a bit salty from the sweat but I didn’t really mind. I dropped all of the containers on the ground so I could wrap my arms around his neck. I got a bit eager and opened my mouth a little. He didn’t seem to mind because he let my tongue enter his mouth. He put his hands on my waist and pulled me closer. I let out a small moan as I felt his tongue fight back against mine.

“The bath.” I mumbled against his lips. If we didn’t turn the water off it was going to overflow. He pulled away and started kissing my neck. He point his hand toward the tub and used the force to turn the faucet off. He nipped at my neck. My breath was heavy and I let out another moan.

“Kylo” I whispered. Suddenly he stopped. He slowly pulled away from my neck and let go of my waist.

“I uh did I do something wrong?” I asked quietly. I was embarrassed. My face was turning red. He just turned away from me.

“I’m going to take my bath now.” He said plainly back to me. I slowly walked out of the room hoping that he would answer my question. He never did.

I tried distracting myself until he got out of the bath. An hour went by and I decided to check on him. I slowly opened the door and looked at him. We immediately made eye contact.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Ok” I started to back up.

“There are things on my mind right now but I don’t think it is the right time to tell you.”

“That’s ok. You have shared a lot with me lately. You don’t have to tell me everything.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.” He pushed himself up so he was standing. I immediately shut my eyes and backed up out of the room. I went and sat on the bed. He entered the room with water dripping from his body and a towel wrapped loosely around his waist.

“Why the hell did you just do that?”

“Do what?” He asked whiling entering the closet.

“I was in there and you just started getting out of the tub.”

“Oh,I guess I forgot that I was naked.” I could tell he was smiling by the way his voice sounded. I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows at him when he came back to the room. He walked up to me and kissed my forehead. He laid down on the bed and looked at me. Some of his dark hair had fallen over his face and he just blinked at me a few times.

“Come here.” He told me. I crawled towards him. He guided me to where he wanted to me to sit.

I was straddling his waist but his knees were lifted to I could lean back on them. He pushed the hair out of his face.

“How was your day?”

“Pretty boring. I didn’t do much.”

“Is there anyway to change that? I don’t want you to have boring days.”

“No it's alright.” I was pretty nervous because we didn’t casually talk like this often. He held one of my hands which actually seemed to calm me down a bit.

“We can go back to visit your parents again if you would like.”

“I would rather not.” I told him. This wasn’t a lie. I think they needed to get used to me not being there and I didn’t to get used to living without them.

“Tell me something about yourself.”

“You already know everything about me.” I said while intertwining our other fingers.

“Tell me something you think that I don’t know.”

“My favorite color is (y/f/c)” He smiled a bit.

“What else?”

“I don’t know. I don’t like talking about myself.”

“Really? Do you want to hear something about me?” I nodded.

“I also hate talking about myself. Looks like we have something in common.” He raised his eyebrows at me.

“I asked because you know what I am thinking all of the time. Even if you could read my mind you could at least take a guess. I can never read you. I never know what mood you are in or if you even want to talk to me. I don’t even know if you like me.” I knew I sounded like a little girl the way I was whining but I didn’t care. I felt like he still wasn’t understand me.

“So me kissing and holding you at night isn’t a sign that I like you?”

“I thought you were doing it to make me happy.”

“And wanting to make you happy isn’t a sign that I like you?”

“Once again I can’t read you so I don’t know what is supposed to be a sign that you like me.”

“Why are you so caught up on not understand me?”

“Because I like you!” I exclaimed and tried to get off of him but my body was frozen.

“I like you but you frustrate me. It’s like you’re not hearing what I’m saying! God dammit! I asked you not to use the force on me! LET ME GO!” I was able to move my body but only for a moment before he pulled me down and crashed our lips together. My hands flew up to his hair and my fingers knotted in it. I couldn’t help but want to take things a bit further. I tested the waters and pushed my hips down on his and he let out a small moan. I smiled knowing that I wasn’t the only one who was feeling this sexual tension. His hands were up the back of my shirt and his fingers were softly rubbing my back. I pulled away from him but his hands stayed on my lower back. I slipped my shirt over my head and threw it on the floor. I leaned back down and kissed him. Our bodies pressed together and I could feel his middle pressed against mine. His skin felt colder than mine. I started placing kissing on his jawline and then down his neck. His heavy breathing told me that he was enjoying it.

“Stop.” He whispered. I pulled away quickly and looked at him. Once again I was afraid I did something wrong. Then there were three loud knocks at the door.

“That’s Hux. He needs me.” He told me. I got off of him and laid down on the bed with a sigh. I watched him get up from the bed and noticed that I left a hickey on his neck. With his clothes and his helmet I knew no one would see it so I didn’t bother to tell him. I also didn’t care to pick up my shirt. I watched him get dressed into more formal attire. I giggled at the fact that his hair was also a bit messed up but once again that didn’t matter because of his helmet. Before putting on his helmet and grabbing his lightsaber he gave me a kiss. It was not one of his sweet ones though. This kiss was full of lust and I was nearly gasping for air when he pulled away. The knocking on the door continued to he got his lightsaber and put his helmet on. He left the room without another word.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter! I will probably update in about a week!

I bit my lip and looked up at the ceiling. What the hell did Hux need right now? It must have been important. My mind wandered back to the bathroom where I thought about Kylo getting out of the tub. I secretly wished I had stayed. God, what is wrong with me? I looked over at the bedside table and saw the book Kylo had been reading for a week or so now. It looked to be some history book. I opened it and started reading it even though the summary did not really appeal to me. I wasn’t motivated to get up and do anything else. The book was so boring that I started to doze off. I tried staying awake until he came back but that was impossible. 

I hummed when I felt light kisses on my stomach. I felt the ends of his hair brushing against my skin. I didn’t bother to open my eyes because I knew it was Kylo. He kissed up my stomach and between my breasts. His lips eventually met mine and I let out a small moan. 

“Are we going to sleep?” He whispered in my ear before kissing down my neck to my collar bone.

“Well can you think of something better to do?” I really wanted to tease him. He let out a growl and grabbed my hip.His gloves were still on so the leather felt cold on my skin. His kisses got rougher and when he nipped at my neck I gasped. He maneuvered the rest of his body between my legs so he was more stable. His hands were making there way to my back. I knew he was trying to undo my bra but he was still fully clothed.

“Nope, not until you take something off.” I told him as a warning. His lips didn’t leave my body as he kicked his boots off.

“That doesn’t count.” I loved teasing him like this. He pulled away and started ripping off his robes and shirt. I watched him giving him a seductive look and ran my finger up and down my cover breasts. His breath was heavy as he watched me. He once he slipped off his gloves he came back to kiss my lips. His hands undid my bra and pulled it off.I moaned as he grabbed them. I hated to admit it but I wanted more than this.

“Be patient.” He mumbled against my lips. Again with the mind reading! I was only going to excuse it this one last time. Yelling at him was not on my mind right now. My hands ran down his beautifully toned chest and to the top of his pants. He groaned against my lips making me smile. He got off of the bed and took his pants off. I didn’t want to slow things down so I took mine off as well. I stood beside him and started to blush realizing that all I had left on was my panties. I could see his erection now but he didn’t seem embarrassed at all. 

“We can stop here if that’s what you want.” He looked at me. I walked up to him and kissed him roughly.

“I think we both know what I want.” I took his hand and lead him back to the bed. He sat down and pulled me with him. I straddled him and could feel how hard he was. I would be lying if I said it didn’t turn me on. I used my hips to grind into his. His hands slipped into my panties and started to explore.

“Oh you are so wet.” He said before I let out a moan and kissed him. He put a finger inside of me and I gasped. I moved in sync with his finger pumping in and out of me. So many noise came out of my mouth. I couldn’t control my moans as they came out one after another. He rubbed my clit and my nails dug into his shoulders.

“Kylo” I whined. I was so close. He needed to just keep going a little longer. Of course he pulled his finger out and left me wanting him. He started to slip my panties off. I kicked them off of the bed and I pushed his boxers down. Once they were off I didn’t want to waste time so I straddled over him once again. He ran his cock across my folds and my breath hitched at the feeling.

“Call me Ben.” I nodded at him and tried to push myself down on his member. Suddenly I couldn’t moved so I opened my eyes.

“Call me Ben ok? Not anything else.” I looked into his eyes. I gave him another nod and I felt myself regain control of my body. He started kissing my shoulder softly. Then it dawned on me that I had never told him I was a virgin. 

“It’s ok. I won’t hurt you.” He whispered. He held his member at my entrance and I gently eased myself down on it. I bit my lip and felt tears forming in my eyes. The pain was definitely there but it wasn’t so unbearable that I wanted it to stop. I moved up and down very slowly. His hands were on my hips and mine were still on his shoulders. He leaned forward and started kissing my chest. I bounced a little faster as the pain started to subside. He gripped my hips forcing me to slow down. He guided me down and and moved his hips up at the same time.

“Ben!” I screamed. He had hit just the right spot. We moved in sync like that for a while. One of my hands grabbed the back of his neck and my mouth was wide open. I was leaning into him and resting my head on his shoulder. I was unravelling and I knew I couldn’t hold on much longer. He used his thumb to rub my clit and I moaned and bit down slightly on his shoulder. He started thrusting faster and his breath got even heavier. 

“I’m so close.” I whispered against his skin hoping he would hear me. He kept up his pace and I kept up mine. 

“Oh god Ben!” I yelled as I reached my climax. My hand on his neck crept up into his hair and pulled it slightly as I rode out my orgasm. I was just getting over mine when he reached his. He didn’t say anything after he released. He simply kissed my neck and held me close.  We both sat there trying to calm ourselves down from the actions that just occurred. I closed my eyes and leaned on him.

“You want to go to bed now?” He asked sweetly. His finger was running up and down my spine. I climbed off of him and crawled to the center of the bed. I got under the covers. It took a minute for him to follow but eventually he did. Tonight he was the big spoon and I was the little spoon. I was so tired I couldn't wait to fall asleep. 

I woke up the next morning wanting to take a shower. Kylo and I were still pressed against each other so I was trying to think of ways to sneak out of bed without waking him. 

“Mmmmm a shower sounds nice.” He said in his groggy morning voice. I smiled and started to get out of bed. He got up and followed me. I could feel him looking me up and down. I was still a bit embarrassed about being naked in front of him. We stepped into the bathroom and the shower immediately turned on. The steam was starting to fill the room quickly. We hopped into the shower together. I wet my hair and started rubbing in shampoo. He was leaning on the wall of the shower watching my every move. I smirked and pulled him under the stream of water. I shampooed his beautiful hair. As I rubbed the shampoo in he closed his eyes.

“It was my name.” He said. I didn’t respond because I wasn’t really sure what to say. I had no idea what he was talking about.

“Before all of this my name was Ben.” 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I know this chapter is boring and short but I needed I have been extremely busy this week and I know I won't have much time to write this weekend so I wanted to but up something. I will post again next week and I promise it will be a more exciting chapter.

I watched him as he rinsed the shampoo out of his hair. Ben. His name is Ben. No, his name was Ben. 

“I must go. Join me for dinner tonight. I will have someone stop by to escort you around 8pm.” He stepped out of the shower. I stayed there just thinking about what he had told me. Did he want me to call him Ben now? I didn’t know what to do with this information he had told me. The name seemed to fit him but so didn’t the name ‘Kylo Ren’. When he had asked me to call him that I just thought maybe it was a sort of roleplaying thing and that is what he was into. I finished up my shower and got out thinking of.Now he wanted me to join him for dinner? What was happening? 

I looked in the mirror and touched up my makeup. I was still confused as to why I was even joining him. I heard a knock on the door and I answered it. It was Phasma.

“Oh thank god I need to tell you something!” I told her as she walked into the room. Then it dawned on me that he would no doubt find out if I told her about his name being Ben. I stood there trying to figure out what I should say.

“Well are you just going to stand there or are you going to tell me?” She looked at me waiting for an answer.

“We uh we slept together…” I told her noticing my cheeks were burning up.

“Oh god! Was he good? Wait never mind you don’t have to answer that. Wow, just wow. Does that make you guys official or?”

“Well I kind of already think we are official because we are married. Do you know what this dinner thing is about?”

“Some people are here and they want to talk to the Commander.”

“And I need to be there why?” 

“I don’t know exactly. He didn’t say. I was just told to come and get you. If we don’t leave soon we will be late.” I rolled my eyes and looked in the mirror. I fixed my hair a bit and turned back to Phasma.

“Alright let’s go.”

The room was the same one that our wedding ceremony had taken place. I was told to take a seat next to Kylo. There was about 4 other men in there with Kylo and Hux. I was introduced to everyone but I don’t remember any of their names nor did I care to remember. Throughout dinner the I let my mind drift because I truly didn’t care what these men were talking about. I let out a small sigh of boredom. No one noticed except for Kylo who placed a hand on my thigh. 

“My wife has other business to attend to please excuse us for a moment.” Kylo explained to the men. I shot him a look but he didn’t respond to it. I followed him out of the room and down the hall.

“What are we doing?” I asked as he led me into an empty closet. He pushed me up against a wall and pressed his lips roughly to mine. His hands started pulling up the skirt of my long gown. He grabbed my hips and growled into my mouth. I moaned and placed my hands on his shoulder.

“I don’t want to talk to these men.” He mumbled before kissing my neck.

“I invited you because I thought you could keep me sane.” I smiled and ran my hand through his hair. He pulled the neckline of my dress down so he could kiss down my chest.

“You are so beautiful.” He helped me to wrap my legs around his waist. We grinded our hips together both letting out small moans.

“They want me back now.” He looked at me. He slowly helped me down. He watch me as I fixed my dress and hair. He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. I watched him leave the closest. I was still so confused by this man. I went back to the room. I undressed myself and laid on the bed. There was no doubt that he had gotten me in the mood so I lied on the bed completely naked waiting for him to get back. I kept thinking about him touching me. I ran my hands all over my body and imagined that they were his. I was hoping that my thoughts would get his attention  It didn’t take too long for him to arrive. I looked at the door and it immediately opened. He stood there with a small smile on his face. I realized that this had been his plan so that when he got back I would be up waiting. He undressed and joined me in bed. I have to say that making love to him this time was different from the last. There was no playing around. He hovered over me and waited for my ok.

“Ben” Was the first thing that I thought to whisper as he entered me.

“No not tonight.” He whispered back to me. I just went along with him. The only name that left my mouth that night was Kylo. Once we were done I immediately started drifting off to sleep. I knew that he wasn’t tired at all. I knew he would stay up late tonight. He might not even fall asleep. 

The next day he was still in bed with me when I woke up. I wasn’t surprised that he was still awake. I placed small kisses on his neck and cheek. 

“Are you alright?” I asked. I didn’t get a reply so I continued giving him kisses hoping that it would make things a little bit better.

“I’m sorry about last night.” He said softly.

“Why are you sorry?” I asked concerned that maybe he never wanted to have sex with me in the first place. He got off of the bed and I couldn’t help but admire his naked body that had small hickeys and scratches on in that were clearly from me. 

“I just when I’m with you I feel like him but I shouldn’t and I can’t.” He ran a hand through his hair out of frustration. I watched him as he started to pace back and forth. 

“I want you to be here but you are pulling me back to the light and I can’t go back.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I'm updating today and I will try to update this weekend but I can't make any promises. Thank you so much for the comments and kudos I am happy you guys like the story and I hope you continue to read it!

I didn’t know what to say. He walked towards me and I became afraid because I was realizing how angry he was getting. I tried to hide my fear as he placed his hand on my head and I drifted off into a deep sleep.

I moved my arms around in bed searching to see if Kylo was there. The bed was empty and the blankets felt different. They smelled different too. I opened my eyes and looked around the room. I was in a large bedroom that looked completely different. There was no way I was still on the Finalizer. I couldn’t even take a guess at where I was. I pulled the covers off and I was in my normal pajamas. Had someone dressed me? I went to the bedroom door and opened it. 

“Hello.” I heard a woman say. I jumped at the sound of her voice and looked over at a big comfortable couch. 

“I know you must have a lot of questions so come here and sit.” She told me. I did as I was told in fear of something happening to me if I didn’t. I sat next to her with my head down. 

“C’mon you can look at me.” She encouraged. I looked up and couldn’t believe it. It was General Leia Organa.

“I didn’t think there would be a girl pretty enough for him but I guess you proved me wrong.” I didn’t pay attention to the compliment because I felt like my head was spinning. I couldn’t comprehend what was going on.

“Yes, he brought you here. I was very surprised to see him.” He brought me here? Why? 

“But why?” I whispered.

“He didn’t say why but I’m sure it has to be a good reason. He has changed but he is still my son and I have faith that he wouldn’t abandon you here. ” I nodded and looked around the room more. I was trying to distract myself but I couldn’t. I needed to know why the hell he did this to me and why he wasn’t here with me.

“I will come in and check on you later. I think I will leave you to get a good look around this place.”

“Why are you doing this? Why are you letting me stay here?” She didn’t say anything. She left me in the room alone. I was so angry I wanted to smash everything. I walked the perimeter of the living room. I walked into the bathroom. It didn’t have a nice bath tub like the one I had with him. There was an empty bedroom on the other side of the bathroom. I didn’t stay inside long. I made my way back to the bedroom. All of my clothes were put away for me in the dresser and closet. The bedroom was cozy despite the situation I couldn’t help but lay back down on the bed. I started to fall back asleep but I realized I had been slept long enough. I got up and changed into a fresh pair of clothes. I was getting anxious about General Organa coming back. On top of the fact that she was the head of the Resistance she was also my mother in-law. I sat on the bed brushing out my hair until I heard the door open. I had left the bedroom door open so she entered it.

“Would you like to come to my quarters? We can talk about things and eat dinner.” I pushed myself off of the bed and followed her out to the hallway. Her quarters were only a short walk away from mine. 

“I would have given you a better apartment but he wanted me to keep an eye on you.” She told me as I took a seat at her dining table.

“I need to tell you something that may come as a bit of a shock to you.” She said to me before taking the seat across from me.

“I think the reason he sent you here was because you are pregnant.” My eyes went wide. I felt like I couldn’t breath.

“You will be ok. Please do not be so afraid. He didn’t tell me that you were but we had to take some tests to make sure you would not bring any foreign diseases here and we just kind of stumbled upon the results.” I felt frozen in place. I couldn’t even move if I wanted to. We only had sex but we didn’t use condoms either time. I just didn’t even think about it. I didn’t think this would happen to me. This was never supposed to happen to me. 

“So what? I’m pregnant so he just leaves me! He just drops me off here and doesn’t even say a goddamn word to me!” I stood up and screamed at her. She stood up and walk over to me. She wanted to calm me down but she didn’t know what to do.  

“Does he fucking know!” I yelled again before bursting into tears. I fell to the floor crying. She got on the floor with me and pulled me into a hug.

“It's ok sweetie. Everything will be ok. I will take care of you and we have great doctors here. Shhh don’t cry.” She pet my hair until I ran out of tears. 

“I want to go to sleep.” I told her.

“Alright. Do you want to stay in my spare room tonight? I don’t want you to feel completely alone.” I took her up on her offer.

I laid in bed that night thinking of Kylo. I hated him so much but I wanted him in bed with me right now. I needed him here.

The next morning I walked out of my room and join General Organa for breakfast.

“Good morning.” She said to me with a big smile on her face.

“Good morning General.” I said while taking a seat at the table.

“Oh just call me Leia. You are my daughter in-law after all.” I gave a weak smile and nodded.

“Can I ask you something?” I said while picking up some toast from a plate.

“Of course!” 

“How long was I asleep before I woke up yesterday?” 

“I believe about 10 days. When he brought you here he said you were asleep for about a week before he brought you here.”

“Do my parents know where I am.”

“We haven’t contacted them. I thought it would be better for you to do that yourself.”

“I want to see them. Can they come here?” She let out a small laugh.

“Your father is an ally to the First Order. I am not even allowed to tell you where we are nevermind a man that works for the First Order.” I looked down at the table. I felt the tears forming in my eyes once again.

“Maybe we can work something out. For now I am trying to get your husband back here because he needs to know what's happening. We will decide what to do with your parents soon.” 

“Did you tell…?”

“No.” She cut me off.

“I think he just knew and that is why he brought you here. You are safer here then you would be with him. I will try to get in contact with him if you would like.” Do I even want to talk to him? Right now I don’t think I want to see him at all. 

“No it’s alright.” She looked concerned that I turned down her offer but she also seems to understand why I don’t want to talk to him.There was a light not on the door causing me to look up. Leai ran to the door and opened it. It looked like someone important.

“I must go now but feel free to walk around or do whatever. They all know who you are so you have free rein to go almost everywhere.” She quickly exited the room. I felt more lost than I ever had before.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be in a little over a week because Thanksgiving is next week and I have some school work I have to get done. Thanks for your kudos and comments! I hope you like this chapter!

I was sitting on a lounge chair in the warm sun. It was a beautiful day. I rested my hand on my small baby bump. It was barely visible but I could still feel it there. I tried not to think about it too much. It reminded me of him and he was someone I didn’t want to be reminded of. It had been 3 months since I had been brought here. It was a nice place. I still didn’t know exactly where I was and I don’t think I ever will know but that shouldn’t stop me from trying to enjoy myself. I was having regular appointments to check up on the baby and I talked with Leia everyday. It was a simple routine of waking up, eating breakfast with Leia if I even had an appetite, and then doing whatever I please. Often I had a nurse or assistant with me to keep me company or keep me out of trouble. I talked to Leia everyday about whether my parents had been talked to. The answer was always no. I was sad because all I really wanted right now was my mom. Leia was my mother-in-law but she wasn’t the same as my mom. I wanted something familiar and someone who knew me. Tonight I was going to explain that to her. I needed to convince her that my mother wouldn’t tell anyone and that it would help me if she was here. My skin was starting to heat up more than I wanted it to so I decided to get up and head inside. I felt sticky and hot so I thought a cool shower might be in my favor. My assistant for the day brought me back to my quarters that I still shared with Leia. I told her that I would move back into mine own place after I had the baby. For now I didn’t want to spend my time in an empty apartment like I how I spent so much of my time in Kylo’s quarters in the past. As I strolled in I saw Leia sitting at the kitchen table.

“That dress is beautiful.” She commented. I looked down at my dress because I had forgotten which one I had been wearing. It was a beautiful red flowing sundress that went all the way to my ankles. 

“Thank you” I said with a big smile before opening the refrigerator and pouring myself a glass of water. The room was a much cooler temperature than outside which was nice and refreshing. 

“I think I’m going to go take a shower and wash up before dinner.”

“Alright. I have some work to get done so…” She was interrupted by the opening of the front door. We both turned to see him standing there. The stupid helmet was covering his face. My fist clenched and I bit my lip hard. 

“What are you doing here?” Leia said as she stood up to approach him. He didn’t answer her question. His head was turned slightly so I knew he was looking at me. I stared back at him biting my lip even harder. Leia had told me that if he comes back I need to listen to him and try to understand why he did this. I walked towards him slowly. I stopped until I was directly in front of him. I felt like I wasn’t myself as I throw punches at his chest.

“What the hell is wrong with you!” I screamed and cursed at him. I couldn’t control my words or actions. Eventually he grabbed my wrists and I struggled against him. I kicked at his legs and tried to break free. He was too strong. 

“I want to talk to you.” He said. That cold robotic voice hit my like a ton of bricks. I missed him but I had to remember what he did.

“Well maybe we could have talked months ago but instead you used the force on me and put me to sleep for a week and then left me here! So yeah I think you missed your chance to talk.” I finally pulled away from his grasp and backed up. 

“Get out.” I told him calmly. He stood there. I saw him clench his fists at his sides but I didn’t care. I knew he was getting angry and I knew I shouldn’t feed into it but it was hard not to when I was so upset.

“Get out!” I yelled this time. He swiftly turned around and walked out. I took a deep breathe in trying to steady my breathing. Leia came up and walked me to a chair and made me sit down. 

“Settle down. Maybe we can wait a day or 2 until we talk to him but you can’t avoid it forever.” I knew she was right. I was hoping that he would be called back to the Finalizer tonight so I wouldn’t have to see him. I was angry at him but I also wanted to see him. I don’t want to let my guard down in case he decides to leave again. 

The rest of the evening went on as planned. I took a shower to help me relax and I ate dinner with Leia. We didn’t talk about him. We didn’t talk about anything really. I retired to my bedroom early. I knew she didn’t want me to ignore him but she wasn’t going to upset the woman that was carrying her grandchild. I put on my nightgown and sat on my bed. I heard the door open and I heard his boots against the hardwood floor. I opened my bedroom door so I could listen to their conversation.

“She is in bed?” I heard him ask Leia.

“Yes. It's probably what is best. She is very upset and that is not good for the baby.”

“Will she talk to me tomorrow?”

“I don’t know. You need to give her time.” I laid back on my bed. The truth is that I wanted him to come in here right now and lay down with me.

“I assume the baby is healthy.”

“Yes. It is doing very well.”

“Does she like it here?”

“It has taken her awhile to get used to but I think she enjoys it. She likes going outside and she reads a lot.” I heard his clicking of the boots again like he was walking around the room. 

“Do her parents know?”

“No. If I tell them they will want to see her and I can’t risk that.”

“She needs her mother here as soon as possible.” 

“She is being well taken care of I don’t see why that is necessary.”

“It is necessary because it is what she wants. I asked you to take care of her and part of taking care of her is providing her with whatever she needs.”

“We can’t risk our location. I don’t think you understand this is bigger than just making your wife comfortable.” I heard him sighed in frustration and then I heard the footsteps nearing my door. I bit my lip. The footsteps stopped and turned around. He knew I was listening but he knew better than to just burst in my room. 

“I’m going to stay in the quarters that you have left empty for her.” And with that he left our quarters. I pulled my covers over me and tried to resist the urge to get up and follow him. I had to keep reminding myself to stand my ground. I didn’t want to show weakness for him. 

The next morning I went to the kitchen in my pajamas. He was sitting at the table getting serves breakfast. He was in all of his black robes but no helmet this time. I sat across from him at the table.

“Why are you even coming back here?”

“I thought that was obvious.”

“I don’t know why the hell you do anything. I don’t know why you brought me here and I don’t know why you are back.” 

“Your mother will be arriving tomorrow and she will stay as long as you need her to.” I just stared at him. Why was he doing this for me?

“Do you want to see some of the ultrasound pictures of the baby?” Leia asked him. He didn’t respond so she brought them over anyway. He held them in his hand staring at them. He looked at them in awe. I tried to put on and angry face but I couldn’t. He was seeing pictures of our baby for the first time and he wasn’t upset at all. I could see a smile tugging on his lips but as soon as he put the pictures down his expression when back to being stone cold.

“Well I have work to get done. I will be back for dinner.” Leia announced before shutting the door. I got up from the table myself and went into my bedroom. I heard him follow me. I started undressing. I pulled my top and shorts off and slipped another sundress. I knew he was watching me but I didn’t care. He was sitting on my bed when I turned around. I grabbed my sandals and started for the door. I looked back at him and he seemed confused.

“Join me for a walk?”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I have not updated in forever so I'm really sorry! I have had so much school work but now some of my classes have ended for the semester so I will be able to update more frequently. I hope everyone likes this chapter!

Kylo nodded and followed me out the door. He looked back to see a guard following us.

“I always have a guard with me it has nothing to do with you being here.” He glanced over at me but I didn’t look at him. I just continued walking until we were out of the building in the fresh air. I searched for my favorite path and smiled once I found it. I walked at a slow pace. I wanted to enjoy it. He walked slightly behind me as we followed the path. I knew he wasn't paying attention to the beautiful nature around us so I slowed down a little bit more. I knew the guards were still making his feel uneasy. I stopped at a larger opening in the path.

“You can leave us now.” I told the guards. They were hesitant but they left anyway. We were alone. I wasn’t scared just a bit nervous. We hadn’t been alone together in so long that it almost didn’t feel real. This felt like a dream. I never thought he would actually come back.

“You like this path a lot.” Finally he broke the silence. I was happy he did because I couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Yes I do. I walk it almost everyday.”

“Doesn’t the pregnancy make you tire easy?”

“Yes but if I stayed inside all day I think I would go crazy.” A smile tugged on my lips. 

“Stay inside all day like you did when you were with me.”

“I didn’t go crazy because you were there to keep me company.”

“I wasn’t there as much as you wanted me to be.” 

“Well it's too late to change that now.” He started pacing a bit but not like when he was angry. It just looked like he was deep in thought.

“My mother treats you better then I do.”

“Your mother gives me things I didn’t have when I lived with you. That doesn’t mean she treats me better than you did.”

“I put you here because she can offer things to you that I can’t.” I rolled my eyes.

“There are things that you offer me that she can’t.”

“Like cuddling at night,kisses,hugs? You don’t need those.” He stopped and stared at me. He looked sad. 

“But I want them. I miss them.” I stepped towards him

“You shouldn’t want those things from me.”

“Why is that?” I stepped even closer to him.

“You know why.” He responded quietly. 

“Do you want me to fear you?”

“No.” He took a deep breathe in and out.

“Good because I don’t.”

“But why do you want me here? I’m not good for you.”

“Because I love you.”

He leaned down and pressed his forehead against mine. I felt his breath on my face. I couldn’t stop my eyes from closing.

“I’m sorry.” He told me in the sweetest voice. I wanted to tell him that it was ok and that I wasn’t mad anymore but all I could think about was how he would be gone again. He might be leaving tonight for all I know. I didn’t want to forgive him just for him to leave again.

“I’m not asking for you to forgive me because I will have to leave in a few days. I’m just asking you not to hate me.” I opened my eyes so that they met his. There were butterflies in my stomach as I realized how close he was to me. A smile spread across his face and I returned it. Finally he leaned in and kissed me softly. I returned the kiss as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I pulled away with a grin on my face. I felt his hand glide across my stomach.

“I would prefer you call me Ben now.” I was a bit shocked when he said this but I just nodded. We heard footsteps down the path and looked to see who it was. There was a group of about 3 guards.

“The general would like a word with Kylo Ren.” One of them said.

“Tell her I can talk later. Right now I am busy.” He simply stated and turned back to me. I watch the guards with their surprised faces that he would turn down the general. It took them a minute to walk back to Leia.

“You think they know that she is your mother?”

“No. No one knows except for you.” 

“They looked so shocked that you would ever turn down the general on her own base.”

“Well I want to spend time with my wife. She is my mother she should understand.” He took my hand and lifted it up to his face. He placed a small kiss on it. I pulled him along so we could continue walking the rest of the path. It didn’t take long for my feet to start hurting. I tried to press on and at least make it to the end. He stopped walking which caused me to stop.

“Let’s go back.” 

“I want to see the end of the path.”

“You are tired.” I sighed because he was right. 

“You really want to see the end.”

“Yes.” He turned his back to me and I furrowed my brow.

“Get on my back.” I smirked and climbed on. He grabbed the back of my legs and started running down the path. I giggled and screamed like a child. 

“Slow down!” I protested. He slowed to a walk so I could look around. Once we reached the end he set me down. I didn’t bother to look at the view I just stared at him. I didn’t realize how much I had missed him until now. He sat on the ground to rest before having to walk back. I joined him on the ground and leaned on his shoulder. We didn’t talk. We sat in this nice peaceful silence for awhile.Suddenly he jumped up and held out his hand to help me up.

“Time to head back.” I smiled at how cute his voice sounded. Once again I got on his back and  he turned around so we could walk the path once again. I let my face fall in the crook of his neck and closed my eyes. I was so tired I felt like I could fall asleep. In no time we were back to the living quarters. He opened the door and walked in. He slowly let go of me so I wouldn’t fall. I made my way to the fridge to get a cold drink while he took a seat on the couch.

“I’m not going to leave you for that long again. I won’t be gone for more than a month.” I wanted to believe him but I really didn’t. I decided not to reply. We were having such a nice day so why ruin it now.

“Do you want a beverage?” I asked.

“You don’t believe me.” He looked upset. I tried to ignore him while I poured two glasses of water.

“I will prove it to you. I will come back in a month. I wouldn’t lie to you.” 

“I know you wouldn’t lie to me but you would put me to sleep for days and bring me to some random planet with your mother for 3 months. That’s a little bit worse than lying.”

“I was doing what I felt was right.” 

“And you didn’t think you could ask me what I wanted to do.” 

“I knew you wouldn’t want to go.”

“Did you know I was pregnant before you brought me here.”

“Yes.” I took a seat on the couch and started to close my eyes. I felt his strong arms pick me up again. I knew he was taking me to bed. I didn’t open my eyes but I smiled a bit when I felt the soft comforter that laid on my bed. I gripped onto his arm to tell him to stay. He hesitated but finally caved. He crawled into bed and wrapped his arms around me. He kissed the top of my head before I fell asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm a little late with this chapter but I hope you guys like it! I will post again in about a week. This story doesn't have too much left to it but I might start a new one so if you are interested please let me know.

Chapter 19

I hummed as I felt fingers run through my hair. I opened my eyes and looked around the room. The windows were still dark so I didn’t know why I was awake. I placed my hand flat on his warm chest. I had been so lonely in this bed for so long but now he was here and I wanted to relish in that feeling. I placed a small kiss on his smooth skin. I traced a finger on where my lips had just been.

”I didn’t mean to wake you.” His hand froze once he realized that I was awake.

“It’s alright. I fell asleep pretty early anyway.” I reply softly. He hand traveled down to my back and then wrapped around my waist. He pulled me up toward his face. I giggled a bit when I saw him. He looked how he always did in the morning. His hair was a mess and his eyes looked sleepy. There were bags under his eyes and I let out a sigh.

“Did you sleep?”

“A little bit.” I wanted to know what was wrong but I wasn’t going to ask. I didn’t want to anger him in the short time I had with him. 

“It’s just work. I’m thinking about you constantly and it distracts me.” 

“Well maybe if I went back with you the worrying would end because you would see me every morning and every night.” 

“That is true but there is more likely to be an attack. Here you are safe and if there was an attack I know my mother could keep you safe. I can’t make that promise back on my base.” I pouted and rested my head on his shoulder. I knew that arguing with him was pointless but by thinking about how much I missed him I hoped he would go through my thoughts and understand that I needed him here with me.

“You know how you are my husband?” I looked at him as a little smile spread on his face but his brow furrowed in confusion. I decided that changing the subject would be for the best.

“Yes I believe I am aware that I am your husband.”

“Well a thing that a husband would do is make his wife some food because she is starving and so is their baby.” He raised his eyebrows and I giggled. I snuggled back into his chest.

“What would you like?” He asked when petting my back lightly.

“Mmmmm a cheeseburger.” 

“How about something more healthy for the baby?” He suggested. I lifted my head up and shot him a glare.

“Cheeseburger it is.” He said while maneuvering out from underneath me. 

“I will not serve the food to you in bed. You are not that pregnant it won’t hurt you to walk to the kitchen.” I rolled my eyes and started to get up from the bed. I went to the bathroom first and then made my way to the kitchen. I sat at the table and watch him collect ingredients from the refrigerator.

“I don’t think I have ever seen you cook.” I commented as he turned the stove on.

“Well then it will be your first time eating a fantastic meal.” I laughed and faintly heard footsteps from down the hall.

“What is going on out here?” Leia asked emerging from the dark hallway. I blushed and looked down at the table. 

“Ben?” She said because he didn’t seem to notice that she had entered the room. He spun around and smiled not knowing who it was. He quickly noticed it was his mother and his smiled disappeared. He turned back to the stove.

“I’m sorry if we woke you. I just hadn’t eaten supper and I was very hungry…” I stammered out.

“It’s alright dear. I was just making sure that everyone was fine.” She took a seat across from me at the table. She frowned and looked toward him again. I didn’t know why he was still so cold towards his mother. I found it rather ridiculous considering the circumstances. I mean she had been letting me stay here for months and treated me so well. I think he owe her at least a little bit of gratitude. 

“What are your plans for today?” Leia asked me calmly.

“Oh I haven’t really thought about it.” 

“You haven’t seen your mother in months. I thought you would have something planned.” I had completely forgotten that my mother was arriving today. I was more nervous than I was excited. I know she would be upset with me for keeping this from her for so long but I didn’t have a choice.

“I have something planned.” Kylo budded in. This was another thing I had been thinking about. He told me to call him Ben but I had only ever called him that the first time we made love. I didn’t know if he actually wanted me to call him Ben or if he just said that to make things easier. He placed a plate in front of each of us. 

“I remember when you used to cook with me.” Leia said before biting into her sandwich. No one said anything. We sat in comfortable silence until our food was finished.

“Thank you.” I said before leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek. I walked off to my room without another word. I had an excuse to actually get ready. I’m sure my mother didn’t care how I looked but I was contemplated whether I wanted to try to hide my baby bump or not. Although I didn’t hear him I sense that he was looking at me. Whenever we were together I could feel him staring at me. I turned around and made eye contact with him. His gaze didn’t veer. I was always jealous of how confident he seemed. How he didn’t care that I had caught him staring. When he caught me staring at him I would always turn away and my cheeks would turn bright red.

“Yeah but it’s cute.” He said quietly.

“Oh back to your old habits of reading my thoughts?” I said as I undressed.

“Old habits die hard.” I slipped on a dress and looked in the mirror. I bit my lip and ran my hand over my stomach.

“Last time your mother couldn’t stop asking about when you would have a baby. I’m sure that she won’t be upset at all. There is nothing to be upset about.”

“I just think she will be sad that I didn’t tell her right away.”

“Well I think if you explain the circumstances then she won’t be upset.” He was right but I was still nervous. 

“You don’t have to be nervous. You want to go for a walk to calm your nerves?”

“No it’s ok.” I walked over to him and gave him a long hug. He kissed the top of my head.

“You figure out any names yet?” I smiled when he asked. Although I had been angry with him for so long I did love the idea of him being a father. I knew he would make a great one even if he wouldn’t be around all of the time. It also made me happy to know that he had been thinking about the baby.

“No not yet. I was kind of hoping you had an idea.” I looked up at him and he looked back at me.

“Uh I kind of like uh Lily maybe if it’s a girl.” 

“Yeah, I like Lily.” I hugged him a little tighter. 

“I haven’t thought of a boy’s name.” He admitted.

“That’s alright we have time. What do you think it will be?”

“I don’t know. I think I will be happy either way.” He chuckled lightly.

“I have a feeling that it's a girl but you never know. I want to keep it a surprise until it is born. Is that alright?” 

“If that is what you want then that is fine. Who do you think it will look more like?” Right now he was making my heart melt. I can’t believe I ever thought that he wouldn’t want to be a dad.

“I don’t know. I kind of hope it has your hair though.” I said as I pulled one arm from his waist so I could play with his hair.

“Your hair is just as beautiful as mine.” We both laughed and I pushed myself up to give him a small peck on the lips. This was more than I ever could have asked for.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I know I suck for not updating but I was super busy with holiday activities but I watched a lot of Star Wars and remembered that I really love writing this story and needed to get back to it. I will update the next chapter as soon as I can but for now I hope you like this one!

I sat on the couch and started tapping my foot impatiently. My mother would be here any minutes. Ben had gone down to the landing dock to greet her. I slouched down a bit into the couch and closed my eyes. I thought maybe I could just rest for a minute before they showed up. Suddenly I heard the door and my eyes shot open. I sat up and tried to straighten out my dress. I took a deep breath in before pushing myself off of the couch. I turned around and made eye contact with my mother. She smiled at me and then her eyes scanned the rest of my body. The smile disappeared as she registered what she was seeing. She smiled even wider and ran over to hug me.

“I missed you so much.” She told me as she pulled away from the hug. I couldn’t think of anything to say because I was just so surprised that she was actually here.

“And I’m going to be a grandmother. Oh sweetie this is so amazing.” I placed my hand on my stomach.   
“I would have told you sooner but I just I couldn’t. Ben, he brought me here and they wouldn’t let me talk to you.” Tears started streaming down my cheeks and I embraced my mother once again.

“Who is Ben? And what do you mean they wouldn’t let you talk to me? Are they keeping you captive here!” She pulled away from me and turned towards Ben.

“Why would you let this happen to my daughter?” She yelled at him. I knew I had made a mistake by telling her but there was no way I could take back what I said.

“No no mom it's alright. It's not his fault…”

“Don’t lie to your mother (y/n)” Ben chimed in. I gave him an apologetic look but he didn’t look back. I couldn’t lie to my mother. She had to know the truth.

“Alright he did leave me here but it was so I would be safe. They didn’t let me contact you because this is supposed to be a secret base and because of our affiliations with the First Order.”

“Our affiliations? But Commander Ren is allowed to know of this base? He is allowed to be here! Why the hell would he bring you here and who the hell is Ben?” I had never seen her so angry and confused in my life. I bit my lip and more tears streamed down my face. I was overwhelmed and my hormones were going crazy. I had no idea how to respond. I just looked over at Ben. Why wasn’t he helping me? I just wanted him to at least look back at me instead of staring at the ground. God dammit Ben why were you doing this to me. He finally looked up to meet my stare. I knew he could hear my thoughts because he walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. I pressed my face against his chest and continued crying. He placed his hand softly on my head. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…” My mother spoke softly. 

“It’s the hormones.” Ben calmly replied. I took a few deep breathes trying to compose myself.

“I took her here because my base might become a target for an attack. My mother is General Organa and I knew she would keep (y/n) safe. You must not tell your husband about this base or that General Organa is my mother.” I thanked Ben a million times in my head before pulling away from him.I knew he didn’t want to share that part of his life with anyone but there was not a way to explain the situation without telling the truth. Even the truth didn’t sound right but we hadn’t come up with a good lie to tell her. For some reason it never crossed my mind that she would ask why I was at a rebel base.

“You are Ben?” She asked him still sounding a bit confused.

“Yes.” That is when I realized that I had called him Ben instead of Kylo Ren. He was Ben to me now.

“I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just bring her home to us.”

“I wasn’t thinking straight. We had gotten into an argument and I just thought this would be the right place for her.”

“Well I fully plan on taking her home with me tomorrow. She needs to be comfortable and her father needs to be informed of the situation.”

“No. I will stay here until the baby is born.” I told her sternly. I had to stand my ground. My mother let out a laugh of disbelief.

“Why?” 

“I like it here. Leia has helped me a lot.” I felt like I sounded stupid. I sounded like a child. I know these weren’t good excuses to stay but I didn’t want to be home. There was something about the way my mother acted that made me think going home wouldn’t be a good idea.

“You want to stay with these crazy people? He left you here! I don’t think you fully understand what is going on and how serious this is.

“I am an adult. I understand that I am pregnant and I believe that I feel best here.”

“I think you just need to come home and get away from these people. Is he doing some sort of mind trick to make you stay? I knew we should never had arranged this marriage.”

“He is not performing tricks on me. Contrary to your belief Ben and I are in love.” 

“You are not in love with him. You just convinced yourself you were because you had sex with him and accidently got pregnant!” My sadness had disappeared. I was now seething with anger. How could she say this to me. 

“I want you to leave.” I told her. I felt my face was turning red. Ben’s hand was around my waist holding me against him. 

“You want me to leave? I’m sure as hell not leaving without you.”

“Oh I think you will be leaving alone.” I heard Leia’s voice from the door.

“Here you are General Leia Organa, in the flesh!” 

“Listen, when you are more relaxed and if (y/n) is comfortable with it you, maybe you can visit but until then you will not be coming back here. I think you have done enough damage today.”

“She is my daughter! I know what is best with her.” 

“You married your daughter off to one of the most dangerous men in the galaxy. You are lucky that everything has worked out for them but I think you have made enough choices for your daughter.”

“You raised him so don’t you dare question the choices I have made to keep my daughter safe.” 

“I am staying here and there is nothing you can do about it.” I took a step away from Ben and faced my mother. I couldn’t let Ben and Leia fight this battle for me.

“Fine stay here! Don’t think you can come back to your father and I when he leaves you! Also good luck explaining your decision to your father. I don’t think he will be too happy to find out that you have been hiding the location of a rebel base!” My mother stormed out of the room. Once again, tears fell from my eyes and I felt myself being pulled into another embrace but this time is was from Leia. I looked up to see that Ben was gone. I heard some noises from my room and then watched him walk by me. His helmet was on and his lightsaber was in his hand. I pushed Leia away and ran after him. I spotted him walking faster towards my mother who was at the end of the hallway. He was just about to ignite his lightsaber.

“Ben Solo don’t you dare touch my mother!” I screamed at him. He froze and so did my mother. She turned around with a horrified look on her face. I watched his other hand clench into a fist but he didn’t have the guts to turn around and face me. I looked past him and at my mother.

“Leave now.” I told her more calmly. She quickly ran and took a right to head to the landing dock. I waited a few seconds until I made my next move. I wanted to call him back to our quarters. I wanted to talk to him about what had just happened. I was sad and upset about everything and needed the comfort that I knew he could give me. I also wanted to completely ignore him. He had wanted to harm my mother. If he could easily harm a woman that I loved then who else would he hurt? Would he ever hurt me? The safest thing to do would be to go back to the quarters alone. I would let Leia be there for me and simply wait for Ben to return on his own. Of course, I didn’t bother to think rationally and think about the safety of me or my child. I walked towards him slowly. His back was still to me so once I reached him I let my hand rest on his shoulder. He unclenched his fist for a moment. I thought that I had gotten him under control and that he would follow me back but instead he just took off. He walked down the hallway and took a left which led to the door to the outside.

I had no idea where he was going but I took this as a sign that I should be angry and scared despite the fact that I am in love with him. It made me realize that made he wasn’t just Ben like I thought he was. He was still Kylo Ren.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There will only be a few more chapters of this story.This chapter is kind of boring so I will make the next one more exciting. I did write a Kylo Ren oneshot a while back so you can always read that if you enjoy this story. Thanks for reading!

I walked back to our quarters. When I saw Leia she didn’t ask me about what had happened. She left me alone. I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted to be with him. Was he selfish for not staying with me or was he doing what was right? I was frustrated but didn’t know what to do about. This conflict was taking a toll on me. I knew that he wasn’t ever going to completely be Ben Solo but I didn’t fall in love with Ben Solo. I fell in love with Kylo Ren. I tried to go about the rest of my day as if he wasn’t even here. I went on a walk and ate my meals with Leia. No words were spoken about him. No one knew where he had went. Maybe he left. Maybe he went back to the first order base. I couldn’t help but want to see him. I hoped that he didn’t leave. I was curious and knew of one place I could look for him. I quietly left and walked down the hall to the quarters that were deemed as my own. I had come in here once or twice to see the items that were slowly filling up the baby’s nursery. I opened the door to see a dimly lit kitchen. I closed the door softly and walked to the living room. The bedroom door was open but so was the nursery. I walked to the baby’s room. There was a beautiful crib in the middle of the room and someone had built a changing table. A few softed animals were had been placed in the crib. I hadn’t seen them there before but assumed Leia must have gotten them. It hurt me to know that Leia was treating me better than my own mother was. I looked around this room with such mixed emotions. I wanted to have this baby but I wanted to have it with him. I knew he could be an amazing father but I didn’t want him to be absent all of the time. This should be the time were I give him an ultimatum but how was I supposed to do that? I couldn’t force him to make that kind of choice. I walked out of the baby’s room not wanting to think about it anymore. I took a chance and walked to the bedroom. The bedroom I had woken up in months ago. The bedroom I was left in by him. I heard someone shuffling around and knew that it could only be him. I stood in the doorway to see him sitting on the end of the bed. His gloves and mask lay askew on the floor. He had more than likely thrown them across the room. He was using both of his hands to rub his eyes. Once he pulled them away from his face I met the gaze of his watery eyes. He had been crying. His hair was a complete mess and his eyes were red. I couldn’t help myself as I walked over and stood in front of him. More tears ran down his cheeks as he looked up at me.

“I would leave the First Order for you if I could. I would run away with you and we could have a happy family somewhere else. I just can’t. I want you to understand that I can’t do that right now. They will kill us. They will kill our baby.” I put my hands on his cheeks and wiped away the tears.

“I can’t be what you need me to be. I can’t help it that I have to leave you sometimes. I know it is my fault but as long as I do this you will be safe.” I leaned down and kissed him softly on the cheek. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. I straddled him and sat on his lap. 

“I’m sorry.” I placed my head on his shoulder. 

“Why are you sorry?”

“I’m sorry because I know I’m putting pressure on you to be the perfect husband. I just wish we were in a better situation but I know now that I don’t want you to be perfect. I love you.” One of his hands was rubbing my lower back. 

“I’m sorry about your mother. I can’t tell you that I wouldn’t have hurt her. The way she treated you wasn’t right and seeing you so sad just made me so angry.”

“I need to you promise me that you won’t hurt either of my parents if you see them. I don’t want to see them or know how they are but you have to promise.” The silence in the room was heavy. I bit my lip hard. I couldn’t be with him if he couldn’t make this promise to me. I focused on the rhythm of his hand that was still lightly rubbing my back. 

“I promise I won’t hurt them.” I started softly kissing his neck. He pulled me closer to him. 

“I got those stuffed animals.” I smirked and pulled my head up so I was facing him.

“They are very nice.” I tucked some of his hair behind his ear. I placed a small peck on his lips.

“I wasn’t sure which one to get so I got a few.”

“I bet he will like all of them.” His eyes went wide. I smiled at his reaction.

“I don’t know for sure but I just have a feeling that we will have a boy.”

“A boy. Are you sure you are ready that? Boys are a lot of work.”

“Maybe they are but so are girls. I’m just lucky we won’t be having twins.”

“Yeah but that means we will have to have another one to keep him company.” I giggled and kissed him again. I couldn’t help but be happy at the fact that he was already thinking about having a second kid with me.

“Let’s get through the birth of the first one before we think about a second one.”

“Let’s have a hundred kids.” He chanted and stood up from the bed. My legs wrapped around his waist. His hands grasped my thighs to hold me up. We were both laughing.

“A hundred is a way to many.” 

“I want a small army of them. I think it would be fun.”

“Well it doesn’t sound like giving birth to a hundred babies is painful.”

“Have you thought about how much this first one is going to hurt?” 

“Yes but that isn’t something I want to think about. It will be fine as long as our baby is cute.” 

“I’m sure it will be adorable. “ I sighed at his words and a smirk spread across his face. He started attacking my face and neck with kisses. He walked forward until my back gently rested against the wall. His hands were slowly pulling the ends of my dress up my thighs. We hadn’t been intimate in months and I couldn’t deny the fact that I had missed it. He bit at my collarbone and I let out a moan. As much as I wanted to do this it didn’t feel right because of the pregnancy.

“I know. I’m sorry.” He mumbled against my skin. He had said he was sorry but that didn’t mean he was going to stop. His hands played with the hem of my panties. My hands were knotted in his hair. I let out a gasp once I felt his hand rub my panties. He could feel how wet I had become. He kept moving his hand over my clit which elicited gasps and moans from me. I whined once he stopped which made him chuckle.  

“Once you have the baby I will plan a very romantic night for us.” He said before placing a kiss on my lips.

“I want this baby to come out soon then.” 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this super short filler chapter. I have been busy but soon I will be in a routine of writing and uploading. Also another warning that I'm only writing a few more chapters of this story. I might write another Kylo Ren story so if you are interested let me know!

Today was the day that I had been dreading. He had gotten the news 2 days ago that they needed him back on the base. I had been lucky enough to have him around for 4 weeks but now he had to go back. He had been distant that passed few days. I figured that he thinks that pushing me away will make it easier for him to leave. Leia had been gone for about a week now working on her own mission. She got the news that Ben had to leave so she promised she would be home tonight. I was watching him pack up his clothes. I knew he wanted to be gone before she came back. Be didn’t want to have to talk to her. He avoided it every chance he could. He wouldn’t be alone with Leia at all. I tried to encourage him a few times to strengthen his relationship with her but he completely dismissed me. I felt like he needed to repay her for what she was doing for us. He had told me that we were repaying her by letting her be a part of our lives and her grandchild’s. I never disagreed with him because I never wanted to make him angry.

“(y/n)?” I jumped a bit at his voice.

“I have been talking to you for the last 5 minutes. Are you even paying attention?” He asked while look me up and down.

“I’m sorry.” I gave him a sympathetic look. I felt bad that I only had a short amount of time with him and I wasn’t even paying at   
tention to him. He walked over to me. I was laying down on the bed. He leaned down and kissed my head. I smirked.

“You know when the baby comes you won’t be my center of attention anymore.” I joked. 

“I think he will both be occupying our minds.” He placed him hand on the baby bump and then gave me a small kiss on the lips. He tried to pulled away but I snaked my arms around his neck and pulled him down for a more passionate kiss.

“Promise to come back as soon as you can?” I looked at him and gave him my puppy dog eyes. He let out a small laugh.

“Of course. I don’t want to be anywhere else.” He laid down next to me.

“Really? I want to be somewhere else.” My hands were still around his neck and the traveled up to his hair. 

“Where would that be?” He asked while studying my face. I closed my eyes and hummed. 

“I don’t know. Maybe a beach? Or even a lovely lake?” I whispered to him.

“Water? I didn’t know you wanted that.” 

“Mmmmmmm I want to relax. I think I just want new scenery.” I opened my eyes and saw that’s his were now closed. He was upset. I knew he hated being there without me but he refused to take me with him.

“You have to leave soon,my love.” I whispered to him. He let out a sigh. My fingers still had not left his hair. His eyes fluttered open and I weakly smiled at him.

“I love you.” He breathed out. 

“I love you too.” I pulled myself close to him. I put my head up to his chest and nudged against it. He was wearing all of his robes. He hadn’t been dressed like that in weeks. I didn’t like them but I wasn’t going to complain. His arms wrapped around me.

“You tell Leia if you need anything alright? I will try to stay in contact but I can’t talk often because I know Snoke will be watching.”

“You do whatever you need to do. This time I know you will come back.”

“You didn’t know I was going to come back last time?”

“Well no. You never even told me that you were bringing me here so I assumed you were just going to leave me here.”

“I love you. I would never do that.”

“Now I know that.” I gave him a kiss on his soft cheek.

“They are waiting for me. I have to go.” He pulled his arms away from me and got up from the bed. He grabbed his bag and waited for me. I took my time getting up trying to keep him here as long as I could. We left the bedroom and were in the kitchen. He went to open the door when I pulled on his hand. He turned around and gave me a confused look.He seemed angry because he didn’t want to be later than he already was.  I stepped to him and gave him one last kiss. He slowly kissed back and then pulled away. He held my hand as we left our quarters and went down the hallway. The landing pad had his ship on it already. We walked towards and in silence. He pulled me into a tight hug before leaving. I watched the ship leave but once it was out of sight I looked up at the sky for a while. I was going to miss him but I had to be strong. I could let these feeling distract me.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not updating! I just got back to school and I have been so distracted but here is this chapter that I made a little longer than usual and I am just letting you know that the next chapter will be the last one!

The next few months I had grown much larger and was not capable of doing nearly anything. Ben had been back for only a few days now. He was waiting on me hand and foot which was nice but I think he was more nervous for the baby then I was. He was putting up the decorations I had chosen for the nursery. I rocked back and forth in the new rocking chair. I heard Ben sigh as he sat on the floor. He was finishing up the light green paint on the walls.He had his hair pulled back in a small bun and was wearing his usual black sweatpants and black t-shirt. The shirt and pants hand small dots of paint all over them. Small beads of sweat were all over his face. He looked so exhausted but so damn adorable. 

“That’s it! The room is done!” He raised his hands in success. I smiled at him and he turned to smile at me.

“It looks amazing.” I told him. He crawled over to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“I think I could use a nap.” He said while resting his head on my shoulder. I raised my hand and placed it on his head.

“Help me out of the chair and we can take a short nap before dinner.” He pulled away from me slightly and moved down towards my now very large baby bump. He gave it a quick kiss before grabbing my hand. He pulled me out of the chair and followed behind me towards our bedroom. I never slept in this bedroom without him. When he was gone I continued to stay with Leia. I slowly plopped down onto the bed. He waited a few moments,making sure I was comfortable, before lying down next to me. 

“You need a shower.” I told him playfully while scrunching my nose.

“I kind of hope that baby will come out soon so I can shower with you.” He retorted. I lightly hit his chest for his remark. He placed his hand on my stomach and closed his eyes. The past few days he had been obsessed with being able to feel the baby kick. For some reason the baby never seemed to move much while he was around. I decided to close my eyes as well. I hoped to get some sleep because it had been harder and harder to stay asleep at night. I dozed in and out for what seemed like hours until I heard a knock at the door. I opened my eyes and heard Ben groan. I tried to get myself off of the bed when suddenly I saw him practically run out of the room.

“I got it!” He called back to me. I rolled my eyes at this and laid back down. I heard Leia’s voice but didn’t pay much attention to what exactly she was saying. Soon he was back in the room.

“Leia wanted to know if we wanted to join her for dinner. Are you up for that?” He leaned against the doorframe staring at me. I was about to reply when I felt the sting of extreme pain. I couldn’t help but gasp. I clamped my eyes shut and grabbed the blankets around me. I opened my eyes and I felt the tears running down my cheeks. I looked to Ben and his eyes were wide. I clenched my teeth and stared back at him. He seemed frozen. 

“Well uhm I’m going to say no to dinner because I’m pretty sure that was a contraction.” I told him in an angry tone. He still didn’t move. I could tell he was trying to process all of this but there was really no time for that.

“Uh what um what do I uh need to do?” He stuttered on almost every word.

“Maybe if you help me up and take me to see the doctor that would be a great help.” And just like that he was moving as fast as possible. He got me sitting up.

“Please go get your mom.” I begged and grasped my stomach. He nodded and ran out of the room. Soon him and Leia were back and helped me into a wheelchair. The contractions were coming on faster and I couldn’t help but scream in pain. The next hours were a blur. We had to wait a while to actually give birth but Leia and Ben stayed with me the whole time. Finally it neared 11 and the time came. The pain was unbearable and the whole time I screamed at Ben telling him that he was never getting any more children. He would just nod and pet my head telling me I was doing a good job. 

Right now our beautiful baby girl was wrapped up in my arms. I couldn’t stop staring at her gorgeous face. She already clearly had a head of hair like her father’s. Ben just watched as I held her and whispered things to her about how amazing she already was. I looked over at him and nodded. It was his turn to hold her.

“Wow look at my princess.” He cooed as he took her from my arms.

“We thought you were going to be a boy.” He told her. I had never heard him talk so sweetly.

“I’m so happy we got this gorgeous princess. You are going to be so beautiful like your mother. You will be so strong.” He went on and on telling her all of the things she would be. I was so tired I had fallen asleep listening to his one-sided conversation with our daughter.

“You will have to feed her soon.” A nurse told me. I immediately opened my eyes and I still felt exhausted. I looked over to Ben who was still holding our angel.

“You have to share.” I joked with him. He looked up at me with a huge smile still on his face. He was reluctant at first but then he handed her back to me.

“We didn’t pick out a name for a girl.” He pointed out.

“You told me that you liked Lily.” I remember him telling me that so many months ago. It was the day that my mother came to see us.

“Lily.” He repeated. 

“Lily...Marie” I told him. If he got to pick out the first name then I was going to pick out the middle one.

“Lily Marie.” He repeated again. He was smiling now.

“Lily Marie Solo” I told him. He smiled even wider.

“Are you sure? Her last named doesn’t have to be Solo if you don’t want it to…” 

“Lily Marie Solo” I cut him off by repeating the name. I looked down at our beautiful baby. She was going to grow up to be amazing and I knew. 

 

Of course only a month later Ben was called back to work. It was worse having him leave this time. He was a tremendous help with Lily. He had been gone 3 months. He wrote me every 2 weeks or so. He didn’t want to make too much contact because he feared that someone at the base might get suspicious. I thought that maybe people would find it strange that you were not there anymore and hadn’t been for a year now. I assumed rumors had just spread that I hated him and I could not live with him anymore. I think it would be funny to see people’s reaction if they knew that I had actually fallen in love with this man. He was supposed to come back any day now and even though I was excited I was also a bit nervous. Lily hadn’t seen him in months. She had grown so much and I hoped she would recognize him. There weren’t any recent pictures of him to really show her what he looked like. I was grateful that he would be back so I could have a bit of a break. Leia was very busy and I wasn’t going to ask someone I didn’t know to watch Lily.  The only breaks I got was when she would nap. Like right now I am able to take a break and rest without worrying about anything. I could just lay in bed and ponder what it would be like when Ben came back and could lay in bed with me. I felt my eyes starting to close and I thought that it would be ok to take a small nap as well. I listened to the baby monitor for a moment before drifting off into sleep.

I woke up to the strange noise of Lily. She seemed to have woken up in a good mood which made me hopeful for a good afternoon. I rolled out of bed and went across the quarters to her room. 

“Well hello. Did my baby girl have a good nap?” She smiled up at me and held her hand up for me to pick her up.

“What would be like to do today, my sunshine?” I held her so she could see over my shoulder and bent down to pick up the blanket that she had fallen asleep with. I heard her squeal in excitement and babble using her non-existent words. 

“Wow someone is really happy!” I grabbed one of her toys and listened to her continually babbling. 

“That sounds so interesting. Tell me more about it.” I laughed a bit to myself. I turned to the changing table and was about to lay her down until I felt her putting her hand out trying to reach for something behind me.

“What are you trying to get?” I turned around and saw him in the corner of the room. I blinked a few times to make sure it was him. 

“Why didn’t you come and see me when you got back?” I immediately questioned him.

“You were sleeping.” The deep robotic voice replied. 

“You could have picked her up.” I told him but I knew him too well. I knew he was afraid. 

“She is fascinated by the mask.” He told me and that’s what I realized she had been reaching for. She was squirming in my arms to reach for him. 

“She needs to have her diaper changed and then you can hold her.” I told him before placing her on the changing table. He looked down at her and her little hands reached up for the mask once again. He had kept her distracted this way the whole time I was changing her. I was so happy to have him home.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is the final chapter. I had so much fun writing this whole story and I will probably write more Star Wars stories in the future. I don't know if I really like how I ended this but I tried my best. Thank you so much for reading this it means so much to me!

The next day I was woken up by the loud crying of Lily. I had to struggle a bit out of Ben’s grip so that I could get up and start my day. 

“Good morning.” I said before smiling down at Lily. As I lifted her up the crying started to stop. I changed her and brought her into the kitchen. I needed to make breakfast and feed her. I placed her in the high chair and went to the fridge. I pulled out some eggs and bacon. I started cooking everything when I jumped a bit because I heard footsteps in the kitchen. I wasn’t used to having Ben around and had forgotten that he was even here. He sat down in only his boxers and stared at Lily as she started her little baby babbling. 

“I swear she can talk for hours.” He said still staring at her.

“Yeah she loves talking. It’s going to be way worse when she learns to say real words.” I laughed a bit thinking about how talkative she was. I wasn’t sure where she got it from because Ben and I were very quiet people. I plated breakfast for us and then grabbed some baby food from the cabinet. He started eating as I took my seat next to Lily and opened up the jar. He watched intently as I tried to feed our daughter. Her face became a mess but she did look very cute.

“You are going to have to teach me how to do all of this baby stuff.” He told me with a mouthful of food.

“It’s not too much different than before. I mean you can feed her now. You can watch her while I take a shower if you want to.” I saw bit of fear in his eyes. 

“I will only be a few minutes.” I begged. I needed to take a shower and not worry about Lily for once.

“Alright. Could you get her out of her seat? Where should I taker her? What should I do?” His nervousness was adorable but I knew that if I laughed he would be angry with me.

“I will bring her to the living room. She has some toys in there. She will play on her mat. She can’t move too much but just make sure she isn’t getting into trouble.” I pulled her out of her high chair and started walking towards the living room. 

“Mommy will be back in a minute. Have fun with Daddy ok?” I kissed her little head and placed her on the playmat. I turned to Ben and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you.” I told him before heading to the bathroom.

I had a lovely 20 minute shower. I meant to be a little faster but after about 10 minutes thought nothing had gone wrong yet so I thought he can handle a little more time. After drying off and wrapping a towel around myself I stepped into my bedroom. I could hear Lily laugh which made me smile. He must have been doing something right because she could not stop giggling. I got into the room and saw Ben sitting on the floor. His legs were spread open and Lily was laying on her stomach in between them. I watched as he used the force to pick up her stuffed animals and moved them all around her making her giggle.

“She rolled over.” He said trying not to smile as the words came out.

“I have only seen her do that once. I guess she is putting on a show for you today. Trying to show off all of her new moves.” I went and sat next to him on the floor. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him.

“Do you think she remembers me?” 

“I don’t know but it doesn’t matter because I think you are her new favorite person.” He smirked and continued to mess with her. Every so often he snuck in little kisses on my cheek but everytime I looked towards him his eyes were on Lily. There was a loud knock on the door which immediately made the baby burst into tears.

“Pick her up and try to settle her down. I will get the door.” I told him while pushing myself off of the ground. I walked to the door and opened it. 

“She is always cried at the sound of the door.” Leia said pushing past me and walking into the kitchen with a bag of what seemed like groceries.

“So I got her some new foods to try and I picked you up some wine and what not so you can relax a bit.” She sounded almost out of breathe. She started to unpack the bag.

“So where is my beautiful granddaughter?” Just as she said it Ben entered the room with Lily in his arms. Her little hands were attempting to grab at his hair. Her eyes went wide at the site of him.

“No one told me you were coming back.” She said to him and gave a quick glance at me. 

“No one knew I was coming back.” He simply stated. The tension in the room was thick. I wasn’t sure what to do. 

“I guess I will get going then there is a lot to do.” She said nervously. I took Lily from Ben’s arms because she had calmed down enough.

“Say goodbye to Grammy.” I told Lily and handed her off to Leia. She gave her a kiss on the forehead and rocked her back and forth a bit. She handed her back to me and said a quick goodbye. As soon as she left and started to walk back to the living room but to my surprise Ben raced after his mother. 

“What is your Daddy doing?” I laughed a bit but was very confused. He came back in the room moments later and let out a sigh with a small smile on his face.

“What the hell was that?” I asked as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I asked her if she could watch Lily tonight so that we could be alone.” My heart skipped a beat. The thought of just me and him together sounded amazing and nerve racking. 

“Really? What do you have planned for us?” I raised my eyebrows at him.

“That is a surprise.” He whispered in my ear and sent shivers down my spine. 

The rest of the day I was teaching him everything he need to know about Lily. He even helped me to put her to sleep. Leia came and picked her up around 7.

“Thank you. I will get her in the morning” I whispered to her.

“It’s no problem sweetie. You can sleep in a little bit don’t wake up to earlier.” I nodded and watched as she walked out with my daughter. I sighed and went into the kitchen. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried. I had never been away from her for a whole night. 

“Relax and enjoy this.” He placed an area of food on the table. We talked about Lily for what seemed like hours and the food started to disappear.

“So what else do you have planned for tonight?” I raised my eyebrow curiously.

“A warm bath so you can relax.” He placed the dishes in the sink and headed off to the bathroom. I giggled because I had just realized that he never changed today. He didn’t even put a shirt on he only wore his boxers. I took one more sip of the lovely wine Leia had gotten us and made my way to the bathroom. I saw the tub filling up and watched Ben light a few candles. I undressed and let my clothes drop to the floor. I walked over and turned the faucet off. I ran my fingers along the surface of the water. It was the perfect temperature. He was watching me so I turned toward him.

“You should get in first.” I encouraged him. He nodded and slipped off his boxers. He sat down in the large tub. I swayed my hips a little as I got in. I sat between his legs and rested my back on his chest. His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me close. He placed kissed all up my shoulder and then on my neck. 

“I forgot how good you tasted.” He mumbled against my skin. He bit down softly and I gasped. His hand trailed up my stomach and to my breast. He gently massaged it and pulled at my nipple. I let the small moans slip out of my mouth. He switched to the other side of my neck and I closed my eyes. My hand held onto his arm that was now running up and down my thigh. I put my other hand on the inside of his thigh and drew small circles with my finger. 

“Maybe we should move to the bedroom?” He asked while pulling away from my neck. 

“Why not just have fun in here?” I asked moving my hand higher up his thigh.

“If you insist.” His hand went up my thigh and softly grazed my outer lips. I whined needing for him to relieve that pressure that had been building.

“Don’t tease me. It’s been too long.” I begged him. He let out a soft laugh and his fingers found my clit. I moaned and bit my lip hard. I had forgotten how good it felt. He toyed with it for a while and then slid down to my slit. He spent no time teasing and put one finger inside of me. My nails dug into his arm and my back arched against his chest. He pumped his finger in and out of me and started to nibble on my earlobe. My nails dug into his inner thigh as he got me closer to my breaking point.

“You close, baby?” He asked in a deep husky voice. I nodded and and struggled to catch my breath as I knew my orgasm would be hitting me any second.

“Let go c’mon I’ve got you.” He used his thumb to rub my clit and I screamed out. I was nearly shaking as I came down from my high.

“You did so good.” He kissed my neck and praised me. I could feel how hard he was on my back. I smirked and moved my up his thigh to his cock. I wrap my hand around it and heard his breathing become heavy. I played with the tip and stroked it length a few times. 

“If you keep going I’m going to cum in your hand. Then we will have to wait to get to the main event.” He tried to steady his breathing as he spoke but he failed.I let go and we squirmed around in the tub trying to get in the best position possible. I was straddling him and attacking his neck with bites and kissed. It wasn’t fair that he got to do all the kiss earlier. His hands were holding my hips firmly. His thumbs rubbed my skin back and forth trying to coax me to let him be inside of me.

“You’re the one who wanted to tease.” I giggled into his next as I let him line up with my entrance. He didn’t reply he just slowly pushed himself in. 

“Oh Ben!” I moaned before letting my head drop to the crook of his neck. I rocked my hips and couldn’t stop my own moans. I finally got the strength to move myself up and down making some of the water spill from the tub.I hummed as I get my pace. Soon he was rocking into me at the same time I was descending. It felt like pure ecstasy. I saw his face scrunch a bit and I knew he was just as close as I was. I held onto his shoulders and we continued to move together. 

“I’m not going to last long.” He admitted and his cheeks were a bit a rosy. I just nodded at him because I felt myself going over the edge. We both climaxed and held onto each other. I felt like I was paralyzed after. I just sat ontop of him with my head on his shoulder. His head was tipped back and he seemed just as exhausted as I was. 

“I love you.” I said in a breathy voice.

“I love you too.” He immediately responded while opening his eyes and looking at me. I smiled at him and ran one of my hands through his hair. I would never have guessed this is where I would end up but it felt so right. I couldn’t believe that I had found the man I loved in such a strange way but everything worked out in the end.


End file.
